


All we're chasing is the sunset.

by skyblue993



Series: Jonnor Travels The World. [1]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Cruise trip, Drama, Jonnor - Freeform, M/M, Sexual Content, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7318303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude and Connor go on a cruise vacation for seven days, (as friends). Will their their 'ship' rise or sink?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The ship is sailing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Piuder for helping me with this prompt :) enjoy!  
> Title of this fic by the song :" Sun goes down." By Jasmine Thompson.

 

Jude was waiting in the living room for Connor to arrive, when his mom stepped into the room with a huge smile firm planted on her lips.

"I'm gonna miss you, bubba." She eyed the red suitcase with sad eyes, before pulling him into her arms. Jude laughed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, melting into the warm embrace of his mom.

"I'm gonna miss you, too. And hey, I'm just going on vacation."

"I know.. But it's your first vacation alone and who knows what could happen up there.” Jude smiled at the concerned edge filling Lena's voice. “ You sure you'll be fine?"

He pulled away from their embrace, giving a small nod as he unlocked his phone. "Yes, I'll be fine.. And I'm not going alone, Mama." He typed a quick text, before pulling it back into his pocket.

"I know that Connor's going to be there with you. Speaking of.. is he okay?"

"He'll be okay." Jude replied shortly. Connor had recently broken up with his historic boyfriend and He hadn't take it well. He'd been a mess for months so they decided that maybe it was a good idea to go on vacation, since they had been focused on giving exams before going on summer break and they both needed some deserved rest. Plus, Jude really wanted to make Connor forget about his heartbreak, he knew how much he'd been suffering and he wanted his friend to get his mind off. 

He heard something buzzing into his pocket; it was a text from Connor. He wasn't aware of the soft smile spreading on his lips as he opened the text, it was an unconscious reaction caused by Connor's name. It might have gone unnoticed by Jude, but Lena always noticed the way Jude's eyes lit up whenever Connor was concerned and she never missed a chance to point that out. "I guess you got a text from Connor.." 

"Such a dork." Jude muttered under his breath, totally unaware of Lena's voice addressing to him. Lena shook her head as she smiled; It had always been like that.. Jude and Connor were completely off the real world when they talked to each other. They were wrapped in their own universe where time was freezed and the only thing that existed was them. Everyone considered Connor a member of the family and she was sure that Connor and Jude were way more than friends, they just had to see it for themself. Jude had always insisted that what they shared was just a incredibly strong friendship but no one  ever bought it, they were totally in love with each other.. They just had to figure it out by themself.

"He's here!" Jude announced as he walked towards the front door. He opened it and a bigger smile appeared on his lips as he greeted his best friend. "Hey, dude." 

Connor smiled as he stepped through the threshold, dragging his blue suitcase along with him. "Hello, everyone." Lena smiled, gesturing him to sit on the couch while they were waiting for Stef to drive them to the port.

"I'll go upstairs." She announced with bright eyes as she watched the two of them rambling enthusiastically about their incoming vacation.

"I can't wait to get on the ship!" Jude sighed dreamily.

"Me too.. There's nothing better than taking a break from everything. I worked my ass through study sessions and now I want to be mindless and carefree for a week."

"That's the spirit, man." Jude laughed as he gave him a fist bump before lowering  his voice so that wasn't overheard by anyone. "We're gonna get drunk, hooking up with strangers and forgetting about our lame lives."

Connor shifted uncomfortably as he gave a nervous laugh. "You think we can skip the 'Hooking up with strangers' part?" Jude opened his mouth, ready to reply but the look of judgement written all over his face gave it all away. Connor interrupted him by saying, "I know." 

"Con.."

"I know it's been two months, Jude. I know."

Connor's voice started trembling as he looked away, feeling embarassed by his own feelings. It had been two months and he still was clinging to his former boyfriend. The pain was still there, loud and clear and Jude promised himself that  nothing would have ruined their vacation. He owed it to himself and to Connor.

"It's okay." Jude pulled him into his arms and Connor whimpered softly before leaning into the embrace. They had been doing that a lot, melting into each other's arms in times of trouble, that was their way of saying 'I'm here for you. With me, you're safe." And even though the affectionate gesture had always given the wrong impression, eliciting a lot of curious stares and uncomfortable questions it had never discouraged them. They had never given a fuck about what other people said.

_Later, on the ship._

As they stepped into the huge glass elevator, Jude couldn't help but giggling as he watched Connor's expression; he was in awe. He took few steps towards the glass where the view of the outdoor's pool area was spread at their feet. The sight took Connor's breath away as he leant towards the surface, laying his hands on the cold glass. "Wow." Connor gasped then he looked at Jude from over his shoulder, smiling widely. "The view is amazing." 

"Not as amazing as you." Jude smile turned into a frown as he flinched, feeling startled by his own thoughts. 

"What the fuck?" He thought as he shook his head, in a weak attempt to clear it from his momentarily insanity. He stepped forward, standing right next to Connor before the huge glass, looking down at the people having fun in the pool and couldn't refrain the happy sigh slipping out of his lips.

"Jude?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." Connor blushed softly as he spoke. "I feel so lucky to have you as my friend." 

"Connor.." Jude hugged him, feeling his cheeks turning pink as a buzzing feeling started developing into his chest, making his heart beating faster. The air suddenly felt electric as they clinged onto each other, melting into their embrace. Jude felt shivers running down his spine when he felt Connor's breath tickling the skin behind his ear. He bit his lips as the cologne that Connor was wearing slowly started to creep over his senses. He felt overwelmed by Connor's smell and sounds and his body pressed firm against his. He felt his heart pounding against his chest as they stood there, hugging each other as the elevator quietly reached their floor.

The doors opened and they let out a gasp as they were met by ten pairs of eyes, looking at the two of them with eyes slightly widened.

Connor cleared his throat, his face was completely flushed as he rushed outside of the elevator.

"That was-"

"Yeah." Connor let out a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with Jude while searching for their room. "I mean, they have never seen two men hugging?"

Jude laughed, feeling relieved by Connor's lack of tension in his voice. _Thank God._ "Probably not."

Connor's gaze was fixed on the numbers written on the doors, looking for their room but Jude couldn't help but feel like it was just a tactic to avoid his eyes. His train of thoughts were interrupted by Connor's bright voice. "Found it!" He slid the magnetic key in, opening the door. 

As soon as they stepped inside, they both gasped loudly.

"Um.." Jude blushed profusely, leaving his suitcase in the entry hall. He took few steps forwards, towards the bed and refusing to blush over that. It was just a sleeping arrangement,  _One bed_. _Queen size bed_ _._  Jude's brain could process just only one thing at the moment. _One bed._

"I-.." Jude was out of words as he sat down on the bed, meeting Connor's puzzled expression. "I thought I made it clear that the room had to be provided with twin beds." He felt his cheeks turning pink as he spoke. "I-.. there must have been a misunderstanding.. I-"  
"Jude." Connor smiled reassuringly as he sat down next to him. "It's okay."  
Jude's eyes widened, his pulse speeding up. "W-What do you mean?" Connor seemed completely calm as he shrugged. "It's not the first time we sleep in the same bed."  
"I know! But.. Connor.. " Jude couldn't hold back the nervous giggles slipping out of his lips as he made a remark. "We're not thirteen, anymore."  
"So what?" Connor smirked. "Are you afraid of me?"  
"No!" Jude countered, giving him a playful slap on his foreharm. The fact that Connor- Shy- Stevens was making jokes about that calmed him down. He was going to share a bed with his best friend.. no biggie.

"Perfect." Connor stood up, stretching his arms. Jude's eyes were drawned on the way his muscles were peeking out of his shirt. Connor then, lifted up his arms and he took off the piece of clothing, throwing it on the chair. Jude felt his breath catching in his throat when he was met by the mesmerizing sight of Connor's naked chest. He gulped, swallowing down some saliva while cursing himself under his breath.

Connor was completely oblivious to Jude's flushing body so he said with innocent voice. “Come on. Let's go to the gym.”

Jude smiled, standing up from the bed pulling the thought of Connor's well built chest out of his mind. “Let's go, man.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...... I know I should update my other fics before starting a new one xD but this is only 7 chapters long and it's a summer fic... it's summer so... it had to be done. :)


	2. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

 

It was past midnight and Jude was laying on his side of the bed, twisting and turning as he listened to Connor soft snores. The AC was on and it provided some crisp air through the room.

"Mmh" Connor mumbled in his sleep as he rolled over, facing Jude. Jude felt himself getting lost in the sight before him. Connor eyes were closed, his eyelashes fluttering as he released small puffs of air. Jude heard himself letting out a soft laugh as he watched the boy  sleeping like a baby. Jude watched him moving slightly and then a short strand of hair, fell over his eyes. Jude smiled when he saw Connor's lips tugging down into a annoyed frown but he kept sleeping anyway. Jude bit his lips as he fought the creeping urge within him to reach over with his hand and move the strand of hair out of the way, he almost caved but then he would have had to explain why he'd felt the urge to touch his hair and his face. While performing his Inner monologue he was barely aware of his hand lifting up on his own accord, touching the soft strand of his hair before moving it off his forehead. Jude smiled, feeling his heart beating a mile a minute as Connor wet his lips before the corner of his mouth lifted up in a soft smile. The sight Took Jude's breath away and made him wonder how someone could possibly give up on someone this beautiful, this innocent, this wonderful.. 

"He's an ass." Jude muttered under his breath as the memory of Connor banging on his door in the middle of the night with tears running down his cheeks still kept hunting his thoughts. The sight of Connor's face red and scratched with tears as he clinged onto him ,searching for that warmth and affection that he'd been deprived of.

He scooted closer to Connor and he kept staring at the sleeping boy few more minutes before slowly drifting off to sleep.

 

He woke up by the feeling of someone snuggling closer to his chest, his eyes slowly fluttered open taking in the surroundings and in that moment it all came back. _Cruise. Vacation. Connor._

He gasped as his heart started pounding faster against his chest realizing that Connor had been rolling over him while he was sleeping, laying his head on his chest. He closed his eyes, exhaling a deep breath before gently squeezing Connor's arm. “Connor?”  
“Mmmh.”  
Jude bit his lips, raising his voice. “Con.”  
Connor's eyes snapped open, letting out a short intake of breath as he noticed the position they were in. “Um.. I- I'm sorry.” He blushed violently as he shifted away from Jude's warm chest. “I-I didn't mean to.”  
Somehow Connor's words hit him right in the chest as he kept apologizing, still flushed in the face. Jude forced a strained smile as he reassured his friend that he'd just woken up and he wasn't even registering what was going on.

“Okay..” Connor let out a sigh of relief that made Jude's heart clench in one instant. “G-Good.”  
“Yeah..”  
“So.. What are our plans for the day?”

“We should get dressed first.”Connor nodded as he yawned, streching his arms.. and once again Jude felt himself getting mesmerized by the endearing sight. “Then we're having breakfast.”  
“Can't wait.. I'm so hungry.” Jude smiled because Connor was always hungry.

“And then?” Connor asked with cheery voice, he sounded excited like a baby.

“We can do whatever we want.” Jude laughed.

“Perfect.” Connor smiled, getting up from the bed. Jude's breath itched as he watched Connor walking towards the bathroom. He was walking unaware of his pijama pants, hanging low on his hips where the waistband of his boxer was visible.

Connor closed the bathroom's door behind him and Jude let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. “Since when you've become such a horndog?” He muttered under his breath as he lifted up the blanket, checking on his morning wood. “Oh God.” He sighed loudly as he threw his head back on the pillow.

As soon as they were both ready they took the elevator, heading to the the main hall where breakfast was served.

“Wow.”

“I know.”  
They were both speechless the moment they stepped into the huge hall. there was such an amount of food from different nationalities; From Italian to American and Chinese..

“This is paradise.” Jude commented as he took a plate, he looked at Connor who still was looking in disbelief at the goods before them, his eyes were blown wide as he looked around himself.

“Connor? You okay?”  
“We're totally going to the gym, later.”

Jude glared at him with eyebrow raised in amusement, he was about to say something when a voice behind them intruded into their conversation.

“Oh, I don't think you need it.”  
Connor smiled, thanking the short boy standing across from them before giving a quick glance at Jude, who was witnessing the boy's interaction ,with eyebrow raised.

“We're totally hit the gym, Con.” He replied with sugary tone, totally ignoring the boy's assertion. He knew that Connor didn't need that. He knew better than Anyone.

“Well.. Maybe some exercises won't hurt you.” He said with a smirk. Jude found the gesture annoying. He found that boy Annoying. “I mean.. look at those flabby arms.” He reached to Jude's arm to prove his point but Jude swatted away his touch, glaring at him with pissed expression.  
“We got your point.” He replied sassily while handing Connor a plate. “Let's go, Con.”

“Oh.” The boy suddenly said, his voice suddenly filled with (sad) realization. “I'm sorry.. I didn't you two were boyfriends.”

Jude and Connor's eyes widened at the same time. “N-No.. “ Connor replied, letting out a giggle as he gave Jude a pat on his shoulder. “We're friends.”

Jude felt a pang of loss settling in his chest at those words but he didn't show it. His face remained unpertubed as he nodded. “Yeah.. and we're kind of late for breakfast.. so..” He grabbed Connor's arm, dragging him away. “See ya!”

“Wait! ” Jude rolled his eyes when Connor left him behind and walked towards the boy who was drooling over his friend with a pink blush creeping over his cheeks.  
“I really meant what I've said about you not needing gym.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you busy later?”  
“Later when?” Connor asked matter of factly. They were stuck on a cruise ship, Later could have meant  _in an hour_ ,  _in the afternoon,_ _in the evening_..

“Would you like to have lunch with me?” The boy asked him shyly before adding with flirtatious tone. “..and probably hundreds of people.”  
Connor threw his head back, letting out a loud laugh. “Yeah, that's quite an accurate assertion.”

He suddenly felt a rush of panic running through his whole body. What was he going to say? What if that boy was going to kiss him? What if..

“Um..” He lowered down his gaze as he gulped. Despite looking like an apple pie Connor Stevens was bad at social interactions... like really, really bad. He'd learned how to flirt by miracle when he met Joseph, his former boyfriend, but in that moment he felt like his flirting skills were less than zero.

He started panicking and that didn't go unnoticed by the boy before him. “We don't have to.”  
“No.” Connor rushed to say. “O-Okay. Yeah.” He forced out a reassuring smile, but what came out instead was a strained frown. “Let's have lunch together.”  
“Hey, we don't have to.” The boy replied in a beat, cracking a polite smile.  
“No. I swear. I want to.”  
“Okay.” The boy smiled, more genuinely the second time. “I'm Joy by the way.”  
“Connor.”  
“Hey, if we ever become a thing Joynnor sounds catchy.” He shrugged, eliciting a strained laugh out of Connor. He was quite a character.

“I'll see you at lunch, then.”  
“Yup.” Connor stole a quick glance towards Jude who was watching them like a hawk with arms crossed against his chest. “I'll see you right here.”  
“Okay.” Joy smiled. “Bye!”  
  
Connor walked back with a terrified light flashing across his eyes, before Jude had the chance to ask him what was wrong, Connor snapped. “Jude. I need your help.”  
  
"Sure. What's wrong?"

"You have to help me with my flirting skills." Jude laughed. He couldn't help it.. 

"You're kidding, right?" He asked with amusement filling his voice as he hoped, prayed, That Connor was just messing with him, but the disperation flashing across every feature gave it all away. Jude sighed as he led the two of them towards the buffet. He started filling his plate as he asked, "How long have you been together with Joseph? “

"Seven months." Connor replied promptly, not following Jude's train of thoughts. 

"And How exactly have you interacted with him for seven months?" Connor's blush gave it all way.. "Okay. Forget I ever asked."

"It's different and you know it."

"Okay." Jude sighed as they sat down with their plates full. "Flirt with me."

"What?!"

"If you want me to help you, I need to check for myself how bad you are at this.”

Connor sighed loudly as he nodded in defeat. His eyes narrowed into two strict lines as he thought of a decent pick up line, then he smiled. "Are you a banana?" Jude's eyes widened as his croissant fell with a thud on his plate. "..Because I wanna peel you off."

Jude couldn't even find the strenght to laugh, he felt like his body was drained out of energy as he listened to Connor's attempt of flirting. He took a deep breath, trying to come up with a gentle way to say that... That it was..

"Connor, that was terrible." Jude felt a sharp pain in his chest as Connor's smile quickly faded away. "Please.. Don't get mad, but it was really bad." 

Connor cupped his face into his hands, giving a loud sigh. "Oh my God, I'm hopeless." 

He was, but Jude was there to help him with everything he needed. "I'll help you."

 


	3. I think I'm falling.

 

 

Jude and Connor were sitting in the hot tub with cocktails in their hands as they were enjoying the cool breeze brushing over them. Everything was so peaceful and relaxing.. it was just day number two but both of them were already dreading the moment they would come back to reality. Jude's eyes fluttered open, throwing a worried glance into Connor's direction.

He cleared his throat getting his friend's attention. “How are you feeling about this... date?” Jude's voice was apparently calm and collected even though the said words felt like poison on his tongue. Connor shrugged as he took a sip of his drink. Jude's gaze was immediately drawn to the way Connor's lips were wrapping around the yellow straw.. “Focus.” His brain reminded him.

“I'm alright and it's not a date.” Connor replied nonchalantly. “It's just a friendly lunch.”  
Jude shook his head, his eyes slightly widened in disbelief as he let out a breathless laugh. “Connor.. you are so blind. God.”

“I'm just afraid to screw things up.”  
“You definitely will.”  
“Thanks, man.” Connor rolled his eyes, feeling himself getting disappointed by his friend's mistrust.

“It's okay, that's what I'm here for.. right?”  
“Right.” Connor smiled, looking visibly more relaxed. Jude smiled, scooting Closer to where Connor was sitting. He watched Connor giving a short intake of breath when their shoulders brushed against each other.

“Okay, I'm giving you carte blanche.” Connor looked at him with a quizzical expression flashing across his features, before his mouth tugged down in a frown. “You're really enjoying all of this, aren't you?”  
Jude let out a soft laugh as he shook his head. “I'm not, trust me.. “ Connor watched him blushing as he added. “Even though, I have to admit that you're cute when you get all worked up.”

Connor's face turned completely red as he started stuttering. Jude tried to fight the wave of laughter escaping his lips. He was so enjoying all of that. "W-Wh.. Jude, I-"

"Come on." Jude rolled his eyes as he gave him a light slap on his arm. "I've given you a prompt. Hold the game."

"Oh." Connor's lips parted forming a O as he inhaled sharply through his nose. He took few seconds and Jude gave him all the time he needed. It was for Helping Connor, after all.. And If he needed some time to think it through and save him from any awful pick up lines...

"Do you really think I'm cute?" He asked with soft voice. His cheeks turned pink as He felt Connor's gaze piercing right through him, looking at him with those warm eyes.. Somehow even warmer than the blazing rays of sunshine on that hot tuesday of July. He tried to keep his emotions in check as he gave a soft nod. His whole body going rigid when Connor raised his hand, moving a strand of hair off Jude's forehead. Jude's eyelids suddenly felt heavy at the soft touch of his hand. "You're cute too." He replied, softly biting his bottom lip. "..Joy."

Jude's eyes snapped open, feeling air leaving his lungs at the mention of the boy's name. For a moment, he totally forgot about the rest.. He was so blissfully lost into Connor's soft touch that it made him feel like walking on clouds, indeed, when Connor's said Joy's name he felt like falling sharply, mercilessly on the ground. The realization hitting him straight into his chest, scared the hell out of him.

"Oh... Um, was it weird?" Connor mumbled as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, I just thought that since we were pretending to flirt with each other..."

"Nah, man." Jude let out a strained laugh as he stuttered "Y-You... you were fine." 

"Fine?" Connor grumbled with a pout on his lips. "I don't want to be fine."

His voice was so low pitched and disheartened.. Connor was clearly discouraged and Jude wouldn't let his friend giving up. He just had to find a way to cheer him up, making him understand that we're all a bit awkward sometimes.. it's not a flaw, If you asked Jude. Jude was far from perfect.. and he wanted to show Connor that it was perfectly okay being awkward. He talked without even thinking about it twice, the words slipping out of his lips as a soft blush creeped over his cheeks.

"If you were a fruit you'd be called Fineapple." Connor eyes snapped towards Jude, watching him with eyes blown wide for endless seconds, before bursting out in laughter. Jude's face turned red as he watched his friend having the best time, mocking him for his poor ways of cheering him up. "You're so bad at this! You're even worse than me!"

Jude playfully splashed him, "No one is worse than you, Mr. Banana." 

Connor smirked, lifting an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh I'm sorry Mr. Fineapple I'll try my best to be deem of your words of wisdom." 

"Stop, stop!" Jude laughed as Connor was repeteadly splashing him in the face."Connor, I swear.."

"What are you going to do, huh?" Connor challenged him as he kept laughing. He was having the best time with Jude in that hot tub, he didn't even realize that it was almost lunch time. He felt his smile growing wider as he watched Jude laughing and spitting out water, it was hilarious. In a weak attempt of protecting himself from Connor, he scooted closer and he grabbed his hands in a tight grip. They both stopped laughing but the warm smile was still firm planted on their faces as they looked at each other.. Suddenly the air was tense and electric above them as their eyes locked.

Jude could feel his heart hammering against his rib cage as he felt himself unable to dislodge his eyes from Connor's. His lips parted, letting out soft breaths as he watched Connor's lips tugging up in a soft smile. His gaze shifted from Connor's lips to his eyes whose were burning right into his. His whole body was buzzing from energy, fighting the urge to reach out for Connor's face and touching his cheek.

Connor cleared his throat as he blushed a bit, “W-What should I do.. in this case?”  
Jude flinched as he gave a short intake of breath, feeling unable to give him a proper reply considering how his brain was dozing off. “Y-You should do this..” He whimpered, taking Connor's hand and placing it on his hip. The feeling of Connor's hand on his skin made him feel like his whole body was going on fire. He tried to hold back the moan escaping his lips. He looked up and Connor's gaze was fixed on his hand, even though it was partially covered by the bubbles coming to the surface.

Jude scooted even closer, closing his eyes for a brief moment when he felt Connor's knee touching his own and that caused him to shiver. He breathed sharply through his nose as his mind brought one  memory back to the surface..

Nine months earlier.

“ _I'm gonna tell him..” Jude muttered under his breath as he looked at his mirrow reflection. He felt his whole body going tense as he inhaled and exhaled through his nose. It was the day. Jude was intentioned to tell Connor that he was gay._

“ _Jude!”his roommate's voice came through as he announced that Connor was there. "Coming! ”_

_Jude greeted him, gesturing to sit on the couch; his roommate Alex was heading out so they were left alone._

“ _Hey!” Connor smiled with a bright light sparkling through his eyes. “It's been a while!”  
“A whole week! ” Jude countered, raising an eyebrow; they were both attending UCLA so one week without seeing each other was a big deal for them._

“ _I know.” Connor replied. “I'm sorry.. I've been busy.”  
“Listen.” They said in unison, both laughing right after. “You go first.” Jude giggled as he shifted on the couch , facing Connor._

_Connor gave a nervous laugh as a soft blush creeped over his face. “There's something I need to tell you.”_

“ _What is it?” Jude asked, oddly worried by Connor's nervous tone filling his voice. “Are you okay?”_  
_“Yes.” Connor rushed to say, letting out a snort. “Don't worry Jude, I'm not dying. It's quite the opposite, actually.”_  
_Jude's frown got deeper so Connor explained to him. “I'm seeing someone.”_  
_Jude's heart inconsciously leapt inside of his chest as his mouth fell open. “Oh.”_  
_“Yeah..” Connor smiled, blushing a bit. “His name is Joseph.”_  
_“T-That's awesome, dude.” Jude said, pushing aside the weird constricting feeling settling into his chest. He blamed the size of the room, too small and suffocating.. “I'm so happy for you!”_  
_“Thanks man.” Jude smiled. “I can't wait for you two to meet! My boyfriend meets my best friend.”_  
_“Can't wait.” Jude cracked a weak smile as he fought the urge to scream.. It was too late._

“ _What were you going to say to me?” Connor's bright voice echoed through the room. Jude felt his chest lifting up heavily, letting out small irregular breaths as he shook his head._

“ _I'm gay.. I broke up with Taylor yesterday because I couldn't stop thinking about you in this past week and the thought of not seeing you literally made me feel like there was some important piece missing within me. I missed you and I've been a wreck the entire week.. It's silly, I know.. yeah I like you..”_

_Jude never gave voice to his thoughts in that moment.. “Tell me more.” He said instead._

 

Jude gulped, never breaking eye contact with Connor. The burden weighting of his chest making it hard to breathe.

“Con.”  
Connor smiled softly. He seemed completely calm as he waited expectantly for Jude to talk. “I-.” _Say it._ His brain screamed. _Just admit it._

“I-”  
“Connor?” They both turned around and Jude couldn't refrain the groan of frustration slipping out of his lips at the sight of the short boy standing outside of the hot tub.  
“Hey Joy.”

“Are you ready to go?” He asked with bright eyes, interrupting the two of them just like it was nothing.

“Yeah.. Actually, Jude was about to say something to me. You Go ahead, I'll meet you inside.”  
Joy cracked a polite smile before leaving the two of them alone.

“Were you saying?” Connor's voice sounded so soft and excited that made Jude shook his head, letting out a soft laugh.

“Just.. Good luck with your date.” _Asshole._ He tried to ignore the voice screaming into his head because Connor's smile was so blinding that he would have died before taking it away from him.

Connor smiled, pulling him into a tight hug. “Thanks man.” Jude tried to not be affected by Connor's scent but it was nearly impossible.. He leant in, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he felt himself getting lost in Connor's warmth. Then he let out a giggle when Connor's breath brushed against his ear, sending shivers all over his skin. “And Hey, try to have some fun too, you know.”  
“I'll go to the Spa in the meantime, getting a massage or something..” Jude shrugged cooly.

“I actually meant it as: go find yourself a girl.”  
Jude's breath itched; _a girl._

“Um.. yeah, I'll try.”

“Good.” Connor said as he got out of the hot tub. “I'll see you later.. hold up for that massage, maybe I'll join you.”  
Jude felt his whole body flushing as he nodded. “Sure. I'll wait for you then.”

 

 


	4. Talking about sparks..

Jude was sitting few tables away from them, fighting the urge to rip his own eyes off whenever Joy leant in over the small table and he touched Connor's arm. He couldn't help it. Every time he saw the two of them giggling, every look they shared, every touch of his hand on Connor's arm was enough to make him feel a sharp pain spreading through his stomach. He tried to focus on the amount of pizza's slices on his plate, or the amount of pizza in the whole room, enough to feed him for a whole year, but no.. His gaze was always drawn towards the two of them. He considered himself being a masochist for putting himself through such pain. There were three restaurants in the whole ship but Jude decided to go there, Where he knew that Connor and Joy were gonna be there, Aware of the jolt of jealousy spreading through his whole body at the sight of them laughing and chatting. He gave a resigned sigh as he picked his slice of pizza while throwing a look into Connor's direction. He seemed calm, yes, He was extra rigid on his chair every time Joy reached for his arm. Jude could see him jump a bit in surprise Before giving a soft sigh and pretending to listen to Joy's ramblings, with a polite smile firm planted on his lips. He watched them both standing up, Joy walked around the table with a bright smile on his face before giving him a quick hug. Jude's eyes were drawn to his hand, gripping tightly the slice of pizza before looking at the two of them exchanging their numbers. Connor waved at him and then he saw Jude sitting all alone, his slice of pizza completely squashed into his hand.

"Why are you sitting all alone?" Connor asked with eyebrow raised as he sat at the other end of the small table.

"I guess I'm not as fortunate as you." Jude closed his eyes for a brief moment, realizing --maybe too late-- of the extra bitterly edge filling his voice. He had no right to make Connor feel bad, considering that Jude was keeping something huge from him..

"Connor.. I-"

"You should have told me if something was bothering you." Connor's voice was sharp as knife as a hint of hurt was flashing across his eyes. He seemed mostly confused than hurt by Jude's tone.

"It's not. I promise."

"Then why it seemed like you were throwing me a shade? "

Jude's eyes widened as he reached for his arm, just like Joy did But Connor didn't flinch when Jude touched him. That made a big difference. His gaze shifted briefly from Jude's eyes to his hand, letting out a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so bitter.. I swear. If you're happy then I'm happy." Jude said as he cracked a soft smile, trying to ease the air between them.. But Connor's features were still tense as he looked at him with hesitant eyes, "I want you to be happy too."

The words slipping out of Connor's lips said with the most caring and sweetest tone, made Jude's heart skipping beats. “I am.” It was the truth, All Jude needed to be happy was Connor; At school, on a cruise vacation, in the dorm room.. It didn't matter the circumstances.. all that mattered was having Connor in his life.

“Are you sure?” Connor's eyes were so warm and soft as he added. “Because I would totally understand if that makes you uncomfortable.”  
Suddenly Jude's eyes got huge as he felt his whole body going rigid. What did Connor mean, by that? Maybe he'd figured it out? Jude's hands started sweating as he stuttered, his heart racing inside of his chest. “W-What do you mean?”  
Connor smiled, cupping Jude's hand on his arm with his own, his touch sending goosebumps on its wave. “I'll understand if it bothers you that I'm spending some time with some other boy..”  
“Why would I care?” Jude retorted with shaky voice as droplets of sweats were running down his forehead.

Connor bit his lips as he replied. “Because it's our vacation and I'm neglecting my best friend for some random guy.”

“You're not.” Jude replied as he let out a soft sigh of relief. “I promise. If you ever will then I'll tell you.”  
“Are you sure, Jude? You come first.. as they say.. bros before..”  
“It's fine, really Con.” Jude laughed, more genuinely that second time around. “So.. tell me about this date.”  
Connor shrugged. Jude let out a short intake of breath when he watched Connor Absent mindedly fiddling with his fingers. “It was okay.”  
“Okay? ”  
“I think it takes more than just one lunch to see where this is heading, am I right? ” Connor smiled softly but knowing him better than anyone, Jude could see that something was off with Connor.  
“How are you feeling about it?”  
“I... Didn't feel the spark.”  
“The spark? ” Jude asked with a soft laugh. “Connor you've met him today.”  
“I know.” Connor sighed as his gaze was drawn for a moment to Jude's hand, still resting on his arm, before murmuring. “ It's not the same...”

“As Joseph? “ Jude guessed with careful tone. He knew that Joseph was something Connor wasn't thrilled to talk about, infact Connor didn't reply. He just kept seemed lost in his thoughts, his gaze still fixed on their joined hands. Jude liked to think that Connor was referring to him.. Even though he knew that he wasn't.   
Connor gave a soft, resigned sigh before lifting up his eyes and meeting Jude's. Jude felt his breath catching in his throat as he felt Connor's gaze weighting on him. It really seemed like a crucial moment in their relationship. Jude knew that it was probably nothing but he couldn't shake the thought that something important was shifting within their Relationship.

“Are you okay?” Jude asked with concerned tone filling his voice. Connor paled for a moment, like he'd just seen a ghost. Jude's free hand reached for Connor's hand, cupping it gently into his own and watched Connor's paled face getting flushed in one instant. Jude was getting worried as he watched Connor staring with frightened eyes at their hands. He was quiet for two endless minutes before His eyes snapped back into Jude's, his eyes wider than before if that was even possible. “Y-Yes, I'm fine.” Connor's voice was shaky and rushed. Jude watched him with wide eyes as he stood up, heading towards the glass door.  
“Connor, where are you going?!” what was going on? Why was Connor leaving?  
Connor gave him a brief glance from over his shoulder, cracking a strained smile as he said, “I'm sorry Jude, I need some air. I'll meet you at the SPA.” Those were his last words before heading outside, leaving Jude dumbfounded by what he'd just witnessed.

“What the hell was that?!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add the mention of pizza because I dreamed about it tonight. (Yup this fic haunts me even in my dreams lol) and It makes me want to go on a cruise so bad. All of this is unhealthy for me LOL :)  
> Ps: not promises, but I might write another chapter by the end of the day. :)


	5. Overboard.

Jude waited for two hours, sitting in the waiting room of the SPA but Connor never showed up. By the time Jude felt that his patience was beginning to wear he tried to call Connor but he never picked up.  
“What the fuck is wrong with this boy?!” Jude groaned, standing up from his chair and earning a scornful glare from the receptionist. He rushed to his room trying to pull aside the harsh truth beeping like an alarm into his head. Connor bailed on him. Connor Stevens Bailed on him. He stepped into his room, slamming the door behind him and then, he saw him.

“I can't fucking believe this.” Jude was laughing.. he didn't want to laugh in that moment, but he couldn't control the wave of hysterical giggles coming out of his lips. He was unbelievable! Connor looked up as he was laying on their bed, his features going tense almost immediately.

“You bailed on me!” Connor's eyes widened for a brief moment before fluttering close. “What the fuck is going on with you?!” Jude asked with rage filling his voice. He wanted to calm down the shrieking edge in his voice but it was nearly impossible. He was so disappointed by Connor. He'd waited for him for hours in that waiting room and he didn't even bother to give him an heads up and now.. Jude was asking for explanations and Connor pretended like he wasn't even there.

“Connor.. fuck!” Jude wanted to get on that bed and slapped him awake, making Connor talk to him, explain why he was acting like that. Jude let out a groan of frustration running his hand through his hair. Connor finally got up from the bed and Jude felt a glimmer of hope settling into his chest when Connor walked in his direction, too bad that Connor was heading towards the bathroom instead.

“Where are you going?”  
“I'm Gonna get changed.” Connor replied shortly. “ there's the big Gala dinner event, tonight."   
“Oh..” Jude gasped as he sat down on the bed, forgetting for a moment that was pissed as hell with Connor.. that until Connor spoke again. “I'm going with Joy as my date. I hope you don't mind..”  
Jude bit his lips, swallowing down his disappointment. “I thought you said-”  
“I know what I said.” Connor retorted hastily. “And you were right, I've met him today.. I should give us some time. Sometimes it just takes time.. to feel the sparks.”  
“Oh, I'm honestly surprised by this sudden change of heart. ” Jude replied, his lips parting and forming a O. “I guess you've learned that while I was waiting you for hours in that waiting room.”

“You know Jude, I thought you said it was fine for us to spend time with other people.”  
Jude couldn't believe the guy standing few feets away from him, whatever happened with Connor.. this wasn't the guy Jude loved.

“But It's not fair to bail on friends after running away to God knows where!”

“I should get changed.” Connor countered with glacial tone. “ I'll see you downstairs.”  
“Oh you'll definitely will.” Jude retorted in a beat as he got up from the bed, heading outside on the small balcony. He sighed as his heart clenched inside of his chest..  Things were probably going to get even worse with Joy, now in the picture. He cursed himself for not handling the whole situation in a better way.. did he seriously think that just because he'd put Connor's happiness before his that meant that he was over him? Was he really that delusional? What Jude had truly done was pulling his feelings on hold and now that he had to share a room, a bed, with his best friend it did nothing but bring his old feelings back to the surface.

“Jude?” Jude acknowledged Connor's presence behind him but he didn't turn around, he just kept looking at the sunset creeping ahead of them. He felt Connor's hand on his arm and his eyes inconsciously fell closed. “Yes?” When he turned his face towards Connor, He fight the urge to gasp loudly at the sight of Connor wearing a suit.. he was.. mouthwatering.  
“Y-You look good.” He couldn't help but saying it.. the words slipping out of his lips against his own will.  
“Thanks.” Connor murmured with a soft blush creeping over his cheeks, he stepped forward leaning against the rail of the balcony, his gaze fixed on the sunset as they both said in unison. “Listen.”  
They both laughed softly, Connor looked at him for a brief moment with bright eyes. “You go first.”  
“I just want to have a good time during this vacation with my best friend..” Jude sighed, looking at the crashing waves beneath them. “I don't want us to have a fight or being awkward with each other and stuff..”

“Me neither.” Connor admitted with soft voice. “I'm sorry, Jude.. for bailing on you and snapping like that.. you didn't deserve it.”

“What happened to you?” Jude asked with curiosity filling his voice. He wasn't mad, not anymore since Connor apologized for acting like that.. but he was curious about what caused that kind of reaction. Connor didn't reply at first, he just kept looking at the ocean in complete silence.. his shallow breaths filling the tense air between them. He gave a defeated sigh before murmuring, “Have you ever felt like.. I dunno, knowing that something could make you happy but at the same time you know deep inside that you're just fighting a losing battle?”  
_Yes_. Jude thought. “Well.. It depends of how hard you're fighting this battle..”  
Connor gave a hollow laugh at Jude's words. “I just know that it's pointless."  
“How do you know?” Jude insisted. “ You're relentless and fierce. Everything you want? You always get it.”  
Connor smiled sadly as he sighed. “Not always.”  
Jude's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched Connor's expression.. He gave a sigh before gently caressing his back. “Listen.. Joseph was a jackass.” Connor's eyes widened as he turned his face towards Jude. “Jude it's not-”  
“I get it.” Jude said with firm voice, cutting him off. “I know that you're hurt and you're not over him yet.. and you just want to feel loved because you're still healing from how he'd treated you.”  
“Jude.. you don't know what you're talking about.” Connor tried to interrupt him but the vomit of words wouldn't stop slipping out of Jude's lips.  
“No one is pressuring you into date some random guy just because you feel like you have to. You don't need a man to make you feel more confident about yourself just because of how that piece of shit made you feel the whole time.”

“Jude. I'm telling y-”

“You're kind.” Jude continued with loving voice, feeling his chest getting lighter with each word slipping out of his lips. “You're amazing. You're strong and considerative of other's people feelings.. you're funny, awkward and you deserve the best, Connor.”  
“Jude..”  
“You truly do.” Jude tried to hold back the tears forming in his eyes as he took deep breaths. “Joseph wasn't aware of the amazing man he had next to him. He wasn't worthy then, he isn't worthy now. Please, Connor.. wake up!”  
“It's not about Joseph, Jude! I don't give a crap about him anymore! It's in the past!” Connor finally snapped, running his hands through his hair as he looked at Jude with eyes blown wide.  
“T-Then what..?” Jude was still shaken by Connor's outburst, his voice came out low and breathless. “Connor, talk to me..”  
Connor turned around, throwing him a quick glance before fiddling with his fingers.. his eyes sad and deprived of light as he spoke. “What's the point, Jude? What's the point of talking to you about this when I Know that it won't lead anywhere? Some things are just meant to be exactly like they are.”

Jude's pulse was speeding as he took few steps towards Connor, resting his hand on his forearm. Connor exhaled sharply through his nose as he said. “I'm meeting Joy, downstairs..”  
Jude nodded as he felt his heart sinking inside of his chest at the mention of the boy's name. "Okay..”  
“I'll meet you there.” Connor murmured before heading outside, his hand lingering a little too much on the door handle before opening the door with a soft sigh. Jude was alone. He finally let his walls down.. his face was soon completely covered with tears. He threw himself on the bed, hiding his face into his pillow.. letting all the frustration and suppressed feelings out. He cried for 15 minutes before feeling drained out of energies. He considered to skip the dinner, but then he decided to take a quick shower and pulling on his suit. He gave a quick glance to the mirror, smiling at his own charming attire.. he was cute with his blue navy suit on.

Jude entered the huge ball room with a smile on his face prepared to face Connor and Joy and the whole world.. He had to. But what Jude wasn't prepared to face was this.

“Jude?” He turned around, his face going completely pale as he was met by a charming, tall boy whom he vaguely remembered. His features were hard to forget though.. even though Jude totally forgot his name.

“Hey!”  
The dark haired boy laughed loudly shaking his hand. “It's okay if you don't remember my name.”  
“Oh..” Jude let out an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck as his eyes scanned the huge room in the mean time. “I'm sorry... I really don't.”  
“ Pablo.”  
“Oh.. Pablo, yeah.” Jude blushed. “Now I remember you.”

“Well..” Pablo smirked. “I'd be disappointed if you didn't, mi cariño."

“What were the chances, Huh?” Pablo laughed, eliciting some giggles out of Jude's lips.. “It's been a while..” The smirk was back, hinting at the last time they'd seen each other.. The only time they had seen each other.

“Yes..” Jude agreed with low voice just in case Connor was around.

“We should 'hang out' just like last time..” Pablo suggested with teasing voice. “ I'm here for my sister's bachelorette party.. she thought why not having it on a cruise ship?!” He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Um.. wow that's awesome. Um.. Listen, Pablo..”  
“I'm all ears, corazoncito.”

“I'm not exact-”  
“Hey, Jude! You made it!” Connor's voice came through, interrupting their conversation. Jude jerked around, breathing heavily as he greeted Connor and Joy. “Hey Connor! Hey Joy.” Connor smiled faded a bit when his gaze fell on Pablo, Jude was dreading the moment Pablo would introduce himself to Connor and Connor would have known.. everything.

His heart was threatening to burst out his chest when Connor asked the dreaded question. “You're not introducing your friend to us, Jude?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL two chapters and one oneshot.. Productive day, today.  
> I'm sorry for eventuals errors.. My eyes have officially done with me but I really wanted to post this, so.. Please, Be kind. :)
> 
> *Translation xD. " mi cariño" -> "My darling."  
> "Corazoncito."-> "sweetheart."


	6. Duele el Corazon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of the title of this chapter. "My heart's aching."

Before Jude had the chance to say a word, Pablo was already reaching for Connor's hand, shaking it in a firm grip. “ Pablo Suarez, nice to meet you.”

Connor shook his hand, cracking a polite smile while Joy's gaze was shifting from Connor to Pablo waiting for someone to introduce him, but for Connor was more interested in satisfy the curiosity burning inside of his chest, rather than introduce his date to the new acquaintance. “How did you two meet? ”  
“We've met in LA, like.. months ago..” Jude replied hastily with a dismissive gesture of his hand, trying to take the reins of the conversation, trying to avoid the inevitable.

“Oh..” Connor bit his lips, clearing his throat before addressing to Jude, “You never mentioned it.”  
Pablo couldn't help but giving a soft laugh as he shrugged with calm voice. “ It was just a one night thing.”

Jude exhaled so sharply that he felt like his lungs were drained out of air, the room suddenly too small.. _this was bad_. Everything felt like moving in slow motion as He watched Connor's face turning from a carefree smile to a deep frown. His chest was lifting and falling heavily as he exhaled deep, slow breaths.

Connor's lips parted slightly, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as his voice came out through a soft whisper. “ One night thing?” Jude's heart leapt as soon as the words slipped out of Connor's lips. His voice sounded so small and fragile as he stared intently at him , waiting for an answer, a confirmation that he'd heard correctly.

An awkward silence fell on the four of them, Joy and Pablo were looking at each other awkwardly, not sure about what to say or do in that situation then Pablo sighed addressing to Joy. “You want to go grab a drink?”

“Sure.” Joy was more than happy to drop the two of them to their own destiny. Jude watched them heading towards the bar, then his eyes fell on Connor's face. He was looking at him with wide eyes, his expression was unreadable.  
Connor closed his eyes, gulping thickly as he asked him. “Is it true?” Jude felt his eyes tearing up, a knot forming into his throat so he just nodded. Connor let out a short intake of breath, raising his eyes to the ceiling for a brief moment.  
“I.. I.. I really don't know what to say.” He breathed out softly as he looked back at Jude.

“Connor..” Jude tried to reach for him but Connor shifted away from his touch like it was burning.  
“I don't understand. ” Connor whimpered with broken voice, confusion written all over his features. “ We tell each other everything.”

“I know.”

“Does it mean that you're not straight? You're experimenting? Was it just a mistake? What does it mean, Jude? ” Connor's voice was filled with exasperation as he took a step closer to Jude.  
“No.” Jude replied honestly.

“No? ”  
Jude took deep, slow breaths as he finally admitted with low, trembling voice. “I'm gay.”

Jude watched Connor's eyes widening as he gave a short intake of breath, his gaze falling on the ground. Jude's heart clenched inside of his chest when Connor was not lo longer looking at him, Disappointment and hurt written all over his face. “Okay.” He breathed out after endless seconds of silence. Jude frowned, fighting the urge to reach for Connor but He knew his touch wasn't welcomed at the moment.

“O-Okay?”  
“Just tell me one thing.” Connor murmured with low voice. “How long have you known?”  
Jude gulped, swallowing down the knot formed in his throat. “Roughly.. since you've started dating Joseph.”  
Connor couldn't refrain the hollow laugh escaping his lips as he raised an eyebrow. “Roughly?! Fuck you, Jude. It's been months! You've known it for months and you never cared to say anything to me? I'm so glad that Our friendship is so meaningful to you.”  
There were tears falling down Jude's cheeks as he held Connor's arm. Suprisingly he didn't scoot away from his touch this time. “No!”  
“Then why didn't you say anything?”  
“I..”  _Because timing wasn't on our side. Because I was so scared that you were gonna turn me down. Because I didn't want to screw our friendship up. Because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. Because you were happy with someone else._  “I don't know..”  
“Who are you?! ” Connor groaned with exhaustion loud and clear filling his voice, not giving a damn about the people staring at them. Jude flinched at the harsh tone behind Connor's words. “I.. fuck!” He groaned, running his hand through his perfectly styled up hair. “You've always told me that no matter what, we wouldn't be keeping secrets between us.. this means that you don't trust me.”  
“No, Connor.. I promise that it's not that the problem.”  
“Then what's the problem? I always told you everything.. I told you about...  _That,_ Jesus. I've always given you my trust on a silver plate. _”_  
Each word slipping out of Connor's lips hurt like a knife in Jude's heart. It was true.. Connor always told him everything, no matter what.. but he had a good reason to keep it a secret, wasn't it? He'd came to terms with his sexuality _because of Connor_. Because he'd realized that he had feelings for Connor.. “I'm sorry, Connor.. I really am.”

“Yeah.” Connor snorted. “Me too, Jude.” They stood awkwardly like that for a brief moment without saying anything, they could as well go find their friends but no one of them made a move to walk away then Jude cleared his throat, getting Connor's attention whom turned his face,giving him a brief look. “Are we okay? “

Connor gave a sad laugh, shaking his head. “I honestly don't know, Jude. I just need some time..”  
“Okay.” Jude sighed with tired voice. “I'll give it to you.” He walked away, feeling his heart sinking with each step he was taking away from Connor. He approached Pablo at the bar, sitting on the stool next to his.

“Hola, querido.”  
“Hey.” Jude asked for a Margarita as Pablo kept asking him what was wrong with  _that_  boy.

“Connor.” Jude corrected him as he took a sip of his drink. “His name is Connor.”  
Pablo's eyes widened, letting out an incredulous laugh. “ _That_  Connor?”

Jude almost chocked on his cocktail as his eyes snapped towards Pablo. “Excuse me?”  
Pablo laughed awkwardly. “Yeah.. you were probably too drunk to remember this.. but do you remember what happened after we were chatting at the club?”  
Jude blushed as he countered. “We.. went back to your car..”  
“Yes..” Pablo nodded with a awkward smile on his lips. “Do you remember anything of what happened next ?”

“We were making out in the back seats.” Jude shrugged with a soft blush creeping over his cheeks.

“But.. you don't remember why we didn't take things further..”

 

_Jude was sprawled on the back seats, his legs folded up in order to make Pablo settle between them. The MINI Cooper too much small for Jude's liking._

_“_ _Mucho Caliente, Jude.” Pablo moaned as he laid some kisses along Jude's collarbone._    
_Jude's fingers were threaded into his hair, gripping tightly as his eyes fluttered close. They were out of their shirts as they rubbed against each other, Pablo's erection pulsing against Jude's tigh._    
_“_ _Fuck me.” Jude moaned, high on lust and alcohol. Pablo smirked against his neck as his hand reached for Jude's pants, unbuttoning the first button. Jude was rambling as Pablo got rid of his pants. “Fuck me.. Connor. Fuck me.”_    
_“_ _What the fuck?” Pablo gasped, lifting up on his elbows, his face unreadable._    
_“_ _Come here, Con.” Jude moaned as his hips arched off the backseats looking for friction. “I want you inside of me, Connor please.”_

 

“Oh my God.” Jude's face was completely red as it was hidden behind his hands.

“Oh come on..” Pablo laughed, patting him on his back. “It's not that bad..”  
“I called you  _Connor_.” Jude gasped loudly, no longer being able of looking at Pablo in the eyes “How are you not pissed at me?”  
Pablo laughed in amusement before shrugging. “I've had it worse.”  
“Like what?” Jude laughed softly as he shook his head. “I can't believe there's someone worse than me.”

“I've been called  _mommy_  during drunk sex, once.”  
Jude bursted out in laugher, almost spilling his Margarita all over them. “Seriously?” Jude asked and Pablo just nodded, shaking his head at the memory. “Tell me more.” Jude said, resting his head on his fist as he listened to Pablo's most amusing accounts and forgetting at least for a while about his heart aching like hell inside of his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: “Hola, querido." -> Hi honey.  
> Mucho Caliente -> ;"so hot."


	7. All the things that your heart needs to know.

Jude felt his eyelids getting heavier with each passing second. The events of the night made him feel drained him out of energies. Pablo had entertained him with funny accounts of his sexual encounters most of the night but then it was time to face the reality..

“Tired?” Pablo teased him with a smirk when he noticed that Jude was starting to yawn.

“A bit.” Jude yawned before a frown creeped over his features. “I'm not looking forward to go back to my room, that's for sure..”  
“ You're more than welcome to crash in my room for the night.” Pablo suggested with a hint of tease in his voice.

“I don't think it would be the right solution.” Jude countered with a blush on his cheeks as he got up from the stool. “I should probably stop running away from my problems.”

“Okay..” Pablo stood up as well, wrapping his arm around Jude's shoulders as he led him towards the exit. “Well at least let me walk you to your room.”  
“You don't have to..” Jude cracked a polite smile, trying to get his arm off his shoulders. He didn't need to add more drama by giving Connor the wrong impression, even though he had nothing to explain to Connor if he was; At the end of the day, Pablo was there when Connor wasn't, probably Too busy with his date to even care where he was and how he was doing. His eyes scoured the whole room trying to find him through the crowd of people but he couldn't see him. He was probably out somewhere with Joy.

His train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted as soon as they stepped into the elevator when Pablo pressed his body against the glass, his face inches apart from Jude's.

“W-What are you doing?” Jude was looking at him with eyes blown wide as he tried to push him off his body, too bad Pablo was too strong with his ripped body and stuff.  
“Tell me you don't want this.” Pablo whispered against his lips with a hint of challenge in his voice. He sounded like he was trying to make a point to Jude, rather than seduce him.

Jude gulped, looking at him with determination in his eyes as he said. “I don't... want this.”  
Pablo let him go with a soft sigh before leaning against the opposite wall of the elevator, his eyes never leaving Jude's. “Then, what do you want, Jude?"  
Jude had no doubts about what he wanted infact the words slipped out of his lips without missing a beat. " I want him." 

"Then what the hell are you waiting for?" For the first time that night, Pablo's smile was off his face. He had a hint of exasperation flashing across his features as he spoke. "You want him. He wants you..."

"He's mad at me." Jude whined as he closed his eyes, letting out a tired sigh. "He thinks our friendship means nothing to me, which I think it's quite an exaggeration because It's true that I made an omission but just because I wanted him to be happy!" 

"Okay.. I have few questions for you that he's probably going to ask you, too So I want you to make up your mind.. " Pablo said with amusement filling his voice. They reached Jude's floor and they stepped outside of the elevator, standing in the foyer. "Were you ever going to tell him?"

Jude fiddled with his hands, lowering down his gaze.. His voice extremely low pitched as he murmured. "Yeah.. Eventually."

"Like when,exactly? The day before your wedding?" Pablo was clearly amused as he Pictured the scene into his head. “ Hey, Connor guess what? I'm getting married tomorrow... Will you be my best man? Oh by the way, I'm marrying a boy."

“Okay!” Jude yelled, clearly exasperated. “I should have told him, I get it! I'm a horrible human being who kept a secret from his best friend just because he wanted him to be happy!”

“Jude? ” Jude jerked around, his heart losing beats as he was met by Connor's eyes looking at him in bewilderment. Jude couldn't fight the hollow laugh escaping his lips. “Of course I had to run into him.” Jude thought as He shook his head, striding towards his room leaving Pablo and Connor dumbfounded as he kept rushing on his steps in total contradiction of his previous assertion about "running away from his problems." In that moment he just felt the need to be alone and.. Breathe.

He stepped through the threshold, taking off his shoes before sinking on the bed, his face hidden into the pillow. He heard footsteps coming from the outside before Connor stepped into their room. Jude quietly got up from the bed, feeling Connor's gaze all over him. He closed the bathroom door behind him, getting rid of his clothes and considering to sleep in the bathtub for the night in order to avoid the awkward night ahead of them but he made up his mind eventually.. giving a loud sigh of frustration as he got out of the bathroom. He laid down on his side of the bed, trying to not think about the boy few inches apart from him. He couldn't help but feeling his eyes stinging Realizing that even though Connor was right next to him it felt like they were million of miles apart at the moment.

He was laying on his stomach, not daring to move in order to not touch Connor's legs underneath the sheets and suddenly Jude felt the room becoming to small, his forehead and palms starting to sweat as his heart raced on its heart beats. The situation was almost unbearable. He was about to get up from the bed, reconsidering his previous idea to sleep in the bath tub but then he heard Connor finally speaking.

"I don't get it." His back was facing Jude as he broke the awful silence fallen on them.

"What?"

"You keep saying that you wanted me to be happy."

"Yes." Jude confirmed with trembling voice." So?"

"What does you being gay has to do with my happiness? I don't get why you felt the need to hide yourself like this.."

Jude rolled on his side, his eyes fixed on Connor's broad back as his hand was itching to reach out for him, touching his arm, his hair.. anything in order to Feel him close. "Because.. You're the reason of it."

He heard a short intake of breath before watching Connor rolling over, finally facing Jude. "W-What are you saying, Jude?" 

Jude's eyes were lost into Connor's as tears were falling over his cheeks. His whole body was shaking as the truth was finally coming to the surface making Jude's chest thousand of pounds lighter as he was finally getting rid of the constricting weight caused by his hidden feelings.

"I'm in love with you.. “ Jude breathed out as he witnessed Connor's reaction. He looked completely thunderstruck as Jude kept crying, finally coming clean to his friend about everything. “ I-I was about to tell you the same day you told me about Joseph. Y-You looked so happy and I couldn't.." Jude's sight was completely clouded by tears but he could still register Connor's eyes watering along with his own. "I couldn't take that happiness away from you. I'm sorry, Connor. I'm sorry." Jude was sobbing uncontrollably. He felt Connor's arms pulling him into his arms, hugging him tightly. Connor's warm body soothing the ache in his heart. "Shh.. Jude. Don't cry, please.. Don't cry." 

Jude kept crying into Connor's arms, his tears soaking Connor's chest. Connor kept caressing his back, his own eyes getting teary listening to Jude's sobs. He gave a soft sigh as he cupped Jude's face, staring into his eyes as he admitted, "There's something you need to know.”

Jude sniffed, wiping the tears off his eyes as he nodded, "You don't have to say anything, Connor. I.. Just need to have you in my life no matter how and if you don't feel the same it's perfectly fine.. I promise I won't stand in your way, in any way.."

"That's the thing, Jude."

Jude frowned, his heart pouding hard against his chest. "W-What do you mean?"

"Remember when I told you that Sometimes it just takes time to feel the spark?"

Jude nodded, unable to form a logic sentence at the moment. Connor lifted up his hand, gently caressing a strand of hair falling over Jude's eyes.

"I felt the spark.. With you."

Jude felt his lips tugging up until a heart melting smile was firm planted on his face. The words slipping out of Connor's lips made him happier than he'd ever been. The emotions running through his body were impossible to explain with words. He felt like fireworks were bursting inside of his chest. He let out a loud sigh or relief as he felt his eyes stinging with tears once again, happy tears this time.

"You did?" Connor smiled at Jude's breathless voice, his eyes were warm and filled with emotion as he gave a soft nod. Jude's hand laced behind Connor's neck, touching the short strand of hair at the nape of his neck as their faces became more and more close to each other with each passing seconds. "I freaked out because I realized that I had feelings for you and I... I couldn't have you.."

"You have me." Jude replied quickly as Connor's free hand moved on his back, holding him firm against his body.

"Jude?" Connor's voice was broke with emotion, his eyes shining into Jude's. Jude knew what Connor was silently asking and he felt shivers crawling up his spine in anticipation of what was going to happen next. Jude closed his eyes, leaning in until their lips were barely touching. The soft brush of their lips was enough to make Jude's heart leap just imagining the taste of Connor's lips on his own.. He wanted it. He wanted it so bad that it hurt..

"Kiss me."

 


	8. Maybe we found love right where we are.

 

  
If someone asked Jude to describe his first kiss with his best friend in three words, he would go with  _“Terrifying”_ “ _Unforgettable._ ” and most importantly, “ _Right.”_

The exact moment their lips touched, Jude's eyes fluttered close even though there was a part of him that wanted to keep it open just because he wanted to witness Connor's reaction. He decided to open just one eye, peeking at the boy's face just one inch away from his own. Their lips were slightly touching and the soft feather brushing of lips was sending shivers down his spine. Connor's arms were so warm around his waist and so was his chest, his whole body was warm and homelike. Jude couldn't fight the smile creeping over his lips at the realization; Jude felt at home into his arms and despite the thought of Kissing Connor was electrifying, heart stopping and terrifying, he also couldn't wait any longer.

His heart was about to burst out of his chest so Jude closed his eyes and finally pressed his lips against Connor's. The motions of their lips was gentle and chaste, and Jude wouldn't have it any other way. It was perfect.

Jude couldn't believe it and he could feel his heart losing beats as happy tears were running free, all over his cheeks. He was a mess, the feels running through his whole body were too much to handle at the moment. He sighed contently as he melted into Connor's embrace, seeking comfort in his warmth as a strong memory was flooding through his mind.

 

“ _Hey, Are you okay?”_

“ _Yes.” Jude's eyes were brimming with tears as he sobbed while_ _A drop of blood_ _rolled out of his_ _nose and down his_ _upper lip._

_They beat him up again. No biggie. It was an ordinary thing in Jude's life,by now._

_He was sitting on the bathroom floor, avoiding eye contact with the blond boy who was standing above him when he heard him speaking._ “ _Here.” He offered his hand and Jude finally looked up. His breath catching in his throat at what he saw. Blond hair, hazel eyes, well built body, a smile that somehow didn't give him the impression of someone mean.. it was quite the opposite, actually. He looked like an angel, standing above him with the light beaming from the window that was making him look like he was wearing a halo._

“ _I'm probably hallucinating.” Jude thought, letting out a awkward giggle and forgetting for a moment about the bruises on his stomach caused by Evan's kicks. He flinched in pain almost immediately._

“ _You have a nice laugh.” The stranger smiled as he was still reaching for Jude's hand. “Come on. I heard that bathroom's floors are quite unhygienic.”_

_Jude looked at the boy for a long moment. He didn't trust anyone, not even himself. but for once Jude decided to follow his intuition, there was something in that boy that Jude couldn't quite explain in that exact moment but when he grabbed his hand Jude felt something creeping inside of his chest. He hadn't been feeling hopeful for a very long time but in that moment.. he felt like something was changing for good._

“ _I'm Connor, by the way.”  
“Jude.”_

_Connor laughed. “Like the Beatles.”_

_Jude couldn't help but laugh along with Connor._

 

 

Jude let out a short intake of breath as soon as their lips touched. Connor's lips were so soft and plump as they moved against his own. He smiled against Connor's lips when he'd realized that Connor's hand was gently caressing his back, pulling him impossibly close before hearing soft moans slipping out of his lips. Jude finally felt his body relaxing a bit, melting against Connor's body completely and letting his strong arm to hold him steady.

Jude heard himself giving a distressful noise out of his throat when Connor broke the kiss, gasping for air not even realizing that they'd been kissing nonstop for the past few minutes. Jude's eyes flickered to Connor's lips, red and swollen as he let out soft pants.. Awkwardness was filling the room as they were looking quietly at each other, not sharing a word.

Jude decided to break the silence, “H-How are you feeling?” He was already dreading the answer because Connor was looking at him with huge and frightened eyes. It could only mean one thing and Jude's heart was clenching inside of his chest in anticipation of Connor's reply.

His gaze shifted from Connor's eyes to his arms, realizing that they were still holding him tightly by his waist. He looked up again, meeting Connor's fragile eyes but Jude could also detect a bright light flashing across them.. Maybe Jude just misjudged the situation, like he always did, but he didn't blame himself, they were stuck in the weird limbo between being friends and more than friends and Jude hated that awkward, tense air fallen above the two of them. It didn't feel right.

"I.. " Connor gave a breathless laugh before giving his honest reply, "My mind is all over the place, right now." 

"Mine too.." Jude nodded as a soft blush spread on his face. "But Connor, we have to talk about this.. I mean, if one of us is having regrets.."

"No." Connor rushed to say, smiling when he heard Jude giving an involuntary sigh of relief. "Definitely not regrets. Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Having regrets?"

Jude had no doubts about that. "Hell to the no.” Connor smiled at Jude's choice of words. “But you have to admit that things seems a bit awkward.."

Connor gave a loud laugh, filling Jude's chest with warmth. "Well.. It was just yesterday when you were helping me hooking up with some other guy.”

Jude laughed, staring into Connor's eyes and sharing all of his fears with Connor. "It all happened so fast and I'm Terrified."

His eyes fluttered close when He felt Connor's hand trailing upwards and into his hair, softly caressing the short strands of hair. "I'm scared too." Connor admitted with fragile voice. "But I want this."

Jude's eyes snapped open, his pulse started racing as soon as Connor's words left his lips. "I-I want this, too." 

"That's all that matters." Connor smiled brightly, his smile widening when he noticed that Jude was smiling too. He laid on his back, letting out a happy sigh, his eyes were drawn to Jude who was still laying on his side, unsure about what to do. Connor made things easier by intertwining their fingers before dragging him down with him. Jude happily obliged by resting his head on Connor's chest, stealing glances at the blond boy who was peacefully resting with eyes closed and a half smile on his lips, focusing on his labored breathing and the erratic beats of his heart against his ear.

Jude's smile widened when he felt Connor's hand softly caressing his hair. He loved the gesture of affection, Jude realized. “Good night, Jude.” Connor's soft voice was so sleepy and filled with affection that made Jude's heart jump inside of his chest.

“Good night, Connor.”

 


	9. Shipwrecked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the cruise of drama! *Smirks*

Jude slowly opened his eyes, feeling tickled by something brushing over his cheek. He smiled at the realization that it was Connor's finger who was absent mindedly tracing a trail on his skin.

“Hi.” Connor's eyes snapped to Jude's as he let out a soft gasp, being taken aback by Jude's voice. He was about to withdraw his hand from Jude's cheek when Jude held it there, cracking a reassuring smile in return.

“Don't." Jude smiled, leaning into the relaxing touch of Connor's finger on his skin. "I like it.”

Jude's cheeks turned pink when he was met by Connor's beautiful smile, somehow warmer than the rays of sunshine beaming through the window. The sight almost took Jude's breath away.

"So.."

"So.." Jude repeated with a soft smile on his lips as he rolled on his side, facing Connor. 

"What's our plans for today?" 

"I think we're visiting Cabo San Lucas, today."

"Oh." Connor replied with a pout on his lips. Jude smiled as he gave him a curious look. Connor looked sad about the incoming excursion. A soft blush was creeping over Connor's cheeks so Jude had to ask. "Why are you looking so sad about this? I mean.. I loved being on the ship, but I can't really wait to feel solid ground beneath my feet."

 "No.. Yeah, I know." Connor replied as he let out an awkward laugh. "It's just.. I.. Um.. I kind of wanted to stay here.."

His blush turned red when he added, completely unneccessary because Jude had figured that out before Connor could speak the words out loud. "With you.."

Jude started giggling. He knew it was rude to laugh on that occasion but he couldn't help himself.

Connor was looking at him with eyes blown wide and a hint of hurt flashing across them.

"I'm glad you think I'm funny." He pouted as he looked away from Jude, he was about to roll over feeling slightly offended by Jude laughter when Jude held him by his arm, keeping Connor from shifting away from him.

"I wasn't laughing at you, I promise." Jude said as soon as he sobered up. He gave Connor an apologetic smile, suddenly felt guilty for hurting his feelings.

"I was giggling because you are so adorable and cute like a puppy..." Jude said shyly with a blush on his cheeks.

"Have you just compared me to a puppy?" Connor replied, his eyebrow perfectly arched as he looked at Jude. The hurt flashing across his features was suddenly replaced by amusement.

"Yes. Connor you have no idea.. Your eyes are just.. Ugh." Jude sighed dreamily. "Puppy eyes."

He concluded like it was enough to explain his illogic chain of thoughts, eliciting a round of laughter out of the blond boy.

"I think you need coffee. You're rambling." Connor laughed as he made a move to sit up on the bed but once again Jude's hand kept him there. 

"Wait."

"What? "

 Jude's expression turned completely serious as he leant towards Connor. Connor's eyes flickered for a brief moment to Jude's lips before looking into his eyes. 

"Can I kiss you?" Jude asked with low voice and half lidded eyes as he leant even closer to Connor's lips. He didn't know why he was even asking since he was basically breathing against his lips. Just Courtesy, Jude concluded. 

Connor didn't give a verbal reply but his hand reached for Jude's face. He cupped his cheek as he gently pressed his lips against Jude's, who sighed soflty against Connor's mouth before sliding his fingers through the blond boy's hair. His hair were so soft and Jude couldn't help but gripping a bit tighter when he felt Connor's hands pulling him against his chest. Jude let out a gasp suddenly melting against Connor's body when he felt his tongue sliding into his mouth for the first time, soon massaging his own. Jude felt lightheaded by the combination of Connor's tongue intertwining with his own and the soft sounds that the closeness of their bodies were eliciting out of Connor's lips. The air suddenly felt steamy. His boxer brief, tighter. Jude needed air.

"Fuck." Connor gasped as soon as they broke the kiss. Jude breathed heavily as he looked at Connor with half lidded eyes. His gaze was drawn to his finger who was moving on its own accord, touching Connor's swollen lips. 

"W-We better go take a shower. I didn't mean as we, like together.. Um, I just mean that I should take a shower and then you should take a shower.. " His eyes widened as he kept rambling, his face completely red. Jude's eyes grew huge when he watched Connor's eyes looking down, probably assessing the damages, before sitting up and scratching the back of his neck. "I'll go take a shower." 

"Yeah.. I got that." Jude smiled. "You go first." He sat up on the bed, the sheets messily wrapped around his waist as his eyes followed Connor.. He forced himself to look up but then his gaze fell miserably on Connor's butt, tight and perky wrapped in those pajama pants, hanging low on his hips.

"Damn.." He muttered as he bit his lips. As soon as Connor closed the door of the bathroom, Jude let out a loud sigh, falling backwards on the bed and smiling like a loon as he thought about the previous night's events. It all felt surreal.. He finally felt ten pounds lighter,  his chest was only filled with butterflies. He finally confessed everything to Connor and there were three things playing like a loop into his mind at the current moment.. Connor had feelings for him. Connor kissed him. He kissed Connor this morning. 

He lost track of time and as he was re experiencing all of those magic moments into his head, he heard the door of the bathroom opening. Connor stepped outside and Jude's breath itched when his eyes fell on Connor's naked chest. "Is he doing this on purpose?" Jude thought as he was met by Connor's bright smile. 

"Nice outfit." Jude commented with cheeky voice referring to his naked torso and skinny jeans and as soon as Connor approached to his suitcase, Jude noticed droplets of water dripping from His still damp hair. 

"Thanks." Connor replied as he --Sadly for Jude's eyes -- pulled a red shirt on. Jude finally decided to get up, unlike a part of him that had gotten up very early that morning. He quietly gathered his clean clothes and striding very quickly to the bathroom.

When Jude got out of the bathroom he was met by Connor's smirk asking with innocent voice, "What took you so long?" 

"Shut up." Jude replied pushing him towards the door. "Let's go, we're already late." He rushed to say as they stepped outside of their room, Connor laughed because His shower took almost thirty minutes and he had noticed the way Jude was pratically drooling over his naked chest as soon as he got out of the bathroom. It was easy to guess.

Jude let out a short intake of breath as soon as they entered in the elevator, for the first time crowded with people. They managed to get to the back of it being so crowded on the front, with Connor's back resting against the glass and Jude standing right before him. As the people stepped into the elevator, soon Jude found himself pressed against Connor. As his back was pressed against Connor's chest he hoped for Connor to wrap his arms around his waist but he never did. He felt shivers crawling up his spine as Connor's breath and the short strands of hair were brushing against his neck. He bit his lips as the sound of his breathing filled his ears making him close his eyes like he was listening to a lullaby.

"Look at those love birds." Jude's eyes snapped open at the intruding, annoyingly, shrilling voice at such early hour of the morning. He knew who it belonged to.

"Good morning, Pablo." Connor gave him a nod of his head Jude gave him a brief look from over his shouder, feeling his body going rigid behind his, but before he could say anything the doors of the elevator opened.

"You two are simply adorable." Pablo commented with a wink as they were stepping outside. Jude smiled politely and Connor didn't say anything, not giving a damn about how rude he was being. He didn't like Pablo. 

"I guess everything turned out okay.. I'm glad you lovebirds made it."

"Thanks." Connor replied with a bitter edge filling his voice. "Not that's any of your business, though."

Jude's lips parted as he gasped, "Connor."

"It's okay, querido." Pablo said to Jude with a shruggs of his shoulders.

"I don't know what that means but don't call him that." Connor's threatening voice was sending shivers down Jude's spine, not in the most pleasant way though. It was quite early to have arguments with someone.. He just wanted to get off the ship and spend some good time with Connor. He had enough of their roasting.

"What's bitten your ass today, sweetheart?" Pablo smirked with outrageous edge in his voice while throwing a quick look into Jude's direction. "Oh, you know what? I don't really want to know."

"Could you two please stop it? It's fucking Nine Am." Jude groaned as he rolled his eyes while trying to reach for Connor's hand. Connor's eyes flickered to Jude's hand, blushing profusely before Intertwining their fingers.

"You're right." Pablo agreed. "I was actually going to mention that my sister's bachelorette party is tonight.."

"Yeah, so?" Jude asked distractedly as he fiddled with Connor's fingers, trying to loose up some of the tension, Infact Connor's hand were clenching in two fists as Pablo spoke.

"You should come." 

"No fucking way." Connor replied in a beat. Jude glared at him before looking at Pablo. 

"Pablo.." He stopped talking, unsure of he and Connor's current status.. Were they boyfriends? More than friends? Still in Limbo? Then he decided to say it in the easiest way he could think of. "I'm busy."

"You can bring him.." His voice was completely lacking of enthusiasm as he gave a nod in Connor's direction.

"I don't know..."

"If you ever change your mind--" 

"He won't." Connor cut him off earning another stern look from Jude.

"The party is at nine PM at the Goldstar club." Jude thanked him for the invitation as Pablo waved at them, before joining his family members.

Throughout the whole time they spent visiting Cabo San Lucas, Jude was constantly -- but mostly internally-- getting hurt by Connor's attitude. He knew Connor was shy.. But damn. Jude had to make the first move to even hold his hand..

They visited the city in complete silence, in a awkward kind of silence.. That never happened before. They never spent two hours without talking to each other. Even when Connor had gone on a family trip for a whole week and they couldn't see each other they were constantly texting or calling so Jude couldn't catch what was going on inside of Connor's head.. The only logical explanation was beeping in his head loud and clear but Jude wasn't ready to listen to it. He was still living in denial that it was all in his head and every thing was perfectly okay..

"This silence is honestly creeping me out." Jude suddenly snapped, unable to keep that silence game on any longer. "What's going on with you?" He didn't sound mad-- Even if he was-- but he just wanted to know if something happened.. If something changed.

"Nothing." Connor replied with apparently collected voice, too bad Jude knew him better than anyone.

"I'm sorry but I don't buy it." Jude's voice was firm and sharp as he asked, "Are you having second thoughts?"

Connor's eyes widened but he did nothing to deny Jude's assertion.

"No.." He said with hesitant voice. "I'm not having second thoughts."

Jude kept walking, not looking at him but he heard him clearly when Connor said, "But.. I don't know.. It shouldn't feel this tense between us, right? This awkwardness?" 

Jude was growing more and more frustrated as Connor came up with his ramblings about losing their friendship.

"I want to be with you." Connor's voice broke in a sob as he stopped Jude by his arm. They were now facing each other but Jude wasn't looking at him, his gaze was firm planted on the ground. His eyes filled with disappointment and hurt.  "Jude I promise... I just.. " Connor groaned in frustration. "I don't know.. I'm scared." 

"Of what?" Jude snapped, finally looking up to Connor's eyes. Jude wanted answers. "What are we, Connor?"

Connor gulped, swallowing down the knot in his throat, then Jude continued. "You told me about the spark and you didn't rejected me last night when we kissed or this morning when we kissed again! You told me you preferred to stay in bed with me rather than going on this stupid excursion and you acted all jealous towards Pablo. Then tell me, Connor.. What are we?" 

Connor didn't reply, he lowered down his gaze avoiding any kind of eye contact with Jude. That was an answer.

Jude's gaze was piercing through him, waiting for an answer that never came.. so Jude at some point just couldn't hold that conversation-- or _silence_ for a lack of better words-- any longer.

"You know what? I think we both need some time apart." Connor's eyes snapped up as soon as the words slipped out of Jude's lips. His mouth fell open, letting out a breathless gasp. "Jude.. I don't want to stay away from you. I want to be with you.. I just--"

Jude cut him off, closing his eyes as he said, "I'll go to Pablo's sister bachelorette party."

"I'm coming with."

"Maybe it's not clear to you the " _It's for the best if we spend some time apart"_ part." 

"We're on a cruise ship." Connor retorted with sharp voice. "How the fuck are we suppose to spend some time apart?! "

"That's why I'm going there." Jude replied hastily as tears were threatening to spill. "Connor we need both some time to think about this. If this is something we really want or..."

"Jude.." Connor breathed out, his own eyes watering as he reached for Jude's face, cupping it between their hands. 

"We can't afford to screw things up, Connor." Jude said with broken voice. "We can't afford to lose what we have."  He hated to say those words, especially since Connor's eyes were pleading not to.. But Connor was clearly confused and their bond was too much important for the both of them to ruin it like that. If Connor wasn't sure of them as a couple they needed to sort that out before starting things, when there still was the slightest chance to save their friendship..

"We can't start something that one of us isn't sure of.." Jude pull away from Connor's grip and took a step back from him, putting some distance between their bodies.

Jude started walking on his own towards the ship when Connor called him softly.

"Yes?"

"I.. "

Jude's heart skipped beats, hoping to hear him saying I love you and run into his arms before kissing him sensless. He could imagine in his head, Connor's soft voice telling him 'I love you'..  He watched Connor exhaling a  heavy breath and shaking his head, like to wipe some crazy thought away from his Mind.

"I'll see you tonight."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor man.... get it together!!!


	10. Ain't nobody. (Loves me better.)

Jude was bored, like really bored. He'd decided to crash Pablo's sister bachelorette party but at some point Pablo dumped him, disappearing through the sea of people so Jude was left on his own.

Once he'd finished his glass of champagne, He leant against the railing on the ship deck, enjoying the cool breeze brushing over him. It felt nice.

Jude was a bit claustrophobic so being stucked in such a small space like that club, being squashed between dancing –mostly-- sweating bodies wasn't a easy feat for him.

He relaxed against the railing, thinking about Connor. His heart ached as soon as the memory of Connor's face watching him as he left the room few hours earlier started flowing through his mind.

He let him leave without saying a world, his eyes never leaving Jude's frame as he left the room. He looked like a kicked puppy and Jude couldn't take that image out of his mind. It haunted him all night.

But what was he supposed to do? He knew what he wanted and it was Connor. Jude had no doubts about that.. He'd kissed Pablo before Connor, but as soon as Connor's lips pressed against his own the previous night, it felt like it had been magical and emotional and right; as regards Jude, Connor'd been his first  _and only._

Just like fate was listening to his thoughts, he saw Connor throught the huge windows glass as he strided towards a particular direction. A look of determination was firm planted on his face as with fast steps he reached his destination.

Jude's eyebrows furrowed in confusion so he headed inside of the discoclub, following Connor through the crowd of people watching him as he headed towards the male's bathroom. Jude was about to reach out for him but suddenly he found himself into the middle of a dancing circle, blocking him from every way out.

“You got to be kidding me.” Jude rolled his eyes, pushing his way through the wall of people. Once he got rid of someone's grip on his arm, shouting at him to “Join the circle.” He run towards the bathrooms, rushing on his steps when he he heard someone yelling and noises coming from the inside. Only when Jude was outside of the bathroom's door he caught what the noise was all about, his mouth fell open at the boy before him who was banging his fist against the bathroom's stall with anger filling his voice.

“Get out you piece of crap! Pablo, just open the fucking door!” Connor was crying as he banged his fist against the door, Jude was about to reach out for Connor when the stall finally opened. Pablo came out of the bathroom with eyes flashing red as he zipped up his pants, a look of pure anger on his face.

“What the fuck do you want?! Jesus Christ you got him! Am I not allowed to fuck, too?!”

Connor's mouth fell open as he watched one familiar boy getting out of the stall. He didn't see that coming... “Joy?!” His voice was filled with surprise as the boy let out an awkward laugh.

“Hey, Connor..” He greeted him politely, then he gave a greeting nod from over Connor's shoulder. “Hello, Jude.”

Connor turned around, looking at the boy standing behind him throughout the whole parade. In that moment, Connor really would have thrown himself off of the ship for the embarassment.

“Jude..”  
“Hey..”

"This is so awkward.." Joy murmured to Pablo's ear. Pablo nodded as he gave a loud sigh.

"Let's go somewhere quieter." He took Joy's hand and They were walking past Jude when he thought it would be fun to make an important remark.  

"If you ever get to get the D." Jude had just started to blush when Pablo continued. "Make sure to scream the right name, this time. " 

Jude's face turned crimson and Connor didn't help the situation because he was about to jump on Pablo. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt before he could run away. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Pablo didn't feel intimidated by Connor's tone or his hand tightening the grip on his collar. He gave a loud laugh, shaking his head at the memory.

"You know.. It's a funny story, actually.."

"Pablo, don't." 

"What?" Connor addressed to Jude, throwing him a confused look. "What is he talking about?" 

"We were about to.. _Hit it off_.." Pablo explained with an amused laugh filling his voice. Connor's expression turned into a distressful frown, he didn't need to hear about.. _That_.

"And I was you know.. Heating things up..."

"Okay." Jude said, completely red in the face unable to hear one more word. "That's my cue.." He turned on his heels and left the three of them dumbfounded in that bathroom.

As soon he took a step outside he heard as the bomb was being dropped. 

"He started moaning" He could hear Pablo's drunk voice made a perfect impression of his wrecked voice." _I want you inside of me, Connor! Connor!_ " 

Jude thought about all the possible places on the ship where he could hide for the following few days as he run outside of the club. He felt air leaving his lungs as he breathed heavily, resting with his back against the wall , just outside of the room. He had his eyes firm closed but despite that he could feel his presence.. He could never forget the smell of Connor's cologne creeping through his senses.

He felt him as he came to a stop just few inches away from him. 

"Jude?" Jude refused to open his eyes, he couldn't.. Not after what Pablo just told him.. 

"Please, Jude open your eyes." He felt his heart hammering against his chest when he felt Connor's hand cupping his face, caressing his cheeks with his thumb.

"Jude.. Please. There's something I need to tell you."

"I.. Want to disappear right now." Jude confessed with fragile voice.

"No, No.. Jude, you can't disappear."

"I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life.."

"I know.." Jude could detect amusement filling Connor's voice as he spoke, so he finally opened his eyes.

"You're laughing."

"I'm not..." Connor replied as he bit his lips. His eyes were warm as they were looking at Jude's .

"Oh God.." Jude sighed. "This is truly embarassing..." 

"I'm flattered if you ask me.." Connor laughed as he shrugged his shoulders. He really looked amused about this. Jude looked at him sternly as Connor closed the few inches keeping them apart by closing the gap between their lips.

Jude gasped as soon as Connor pressed his lips against his own. "Jude.." Connor breathed against his lips as his hand laced behind his neck, pulling him close to his warm body.

"Yes?" 

Connor stared into Jude's eyes and then he said it. The words Jude hoped to hear, finally slipped out of Connor's lips and tore down his walls.

"I love you. I realized that I can't be without you.. I-.." Connor relesed a deep breath, wiping away Jude's tears with his thumb as he kept talking. "I was scared of losing you but I realize that I was going to lose you anyway because of my fears.. And I can't lose you, Jude. I just can't. I practiced this speech in our room while you were over here and at some point I started pacing the room because I couldn't handle the thought of you being here so I came downstairs to get you and I- I couldn't find you and I thought ' _it's too late, I lost him._ '” Connor's voice broke into a sob as he confessed. “I-I found him and he was with someone. I-I'm sorry, I thought it was you and I saw red because you were here with him while you were supposed to be with me. _Your boyfriend_. I-I thought I lost you. "

Jude's heart leapt inside of his chest.

"S-Say it again." 

"With me."

"Not that.."

Connor smiled. "Your boyfriend."

Jude sniffed as a bright smile creeped on his lips, "Kiss your boyfriend." 

Connor smiled as he closed his eyes and he gently connected their lips once again. Jude laced his arms around his neck as he felt Connor's hands holding him by his hips. Suddenly Jude pulled away, feeling the need to say the words out loud. "I love you, too." 

Jude could feel the smile on Connor's lips against his own as he pressed their lips together. He soon found himself pressed against the wall as Connor kept kissing him passionately. 

"Con.." 

"We should.." Connor breathed out between fervent kisses. He pulled away, taking Jude's hand into his own. " Let's go back to our room."

 


	11. High for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content

Jude didn't know how they managed to keep their hands off each other throughout the whole route from the club to their room, but surprisingly –well, except for looks full of hunger, hands desperately itching to touch skin and heavy breaths-- they behaved themself.

Jude should have known, from the moment they stepped into their room, that Connor would push him against the door, incapable or resisting one minute longer, before pressing his lips against his own.

Not that Jude was complaining.. Except for maybe the hiss of surprise slipping out of his lips as soon as his back made contact with the cold surface of the door, he was perfectly okay with Connor's intentions to hold his body pressed against the door. 

"Fuck, Connor.." Jude closed his eyes, tangling his hand into Connor's soft hair as he felt Connor's lips running over the soft skin of his neck and letting out a breathless giggle caused by his lips tickling his skin.

"Huh?" Connor raised his eyes and felt something resembling a kick in his stomach when he was met by Jude's expression of awe. He was breathing heavily, his lips tugged up in a relaxed smile as he tilted his head the side, giving Connor more space to work his blissful touch on. He was so beautiful that Connor had a hard time facing the reality of the events. Jude was finally his boyfriend and nothing felt better than finally being with Jude.

Jude's eyes fluttered open as his hips kept rocking against Connor's feeling him getting hard from above the constricting pattern of his pants. He felt heat spreading through his whole body as his hand moved on its own accord, slowly trailing downwards until it rested on Connor's bulge. 

Jude heard a loud gasp escaping Connor's lips as his lips freezed against his neck.

"G-God, I'm sorry." Jude stuttered, Suddenly aware of his roaming hand. He was completely flushed in the face as he rushed to take his hand out. His eyes widened as Connor moaned softly against his neck, moving his own hand downwards and keeping Jude's hand, firm planted on his full clad trobbing erection.

"Jude.." Connor's voice sounded so low pitched that Jude --in the throes of the steaminess of the moment-- had to blink few times, doubting if it was a question of it was just Connor moaning his name. 

"Yes?" He asked tentatively, His eyes fell closed when Connor touched him from over the pattern of his pants, just like he was touching Connor. The touch sent a wave of desire running through his whole hody, making his vision swim and his brain shut down completely.

As Jude's brain cells were basically flying out of the window for good caused by Connor's tongue in his mouth, his hips pushing against Jude's and his lingering touches.. Jude couldn't help but come to realization that he'd never felt like this before. Connor's touch was different from Pablo's. Everything felt different from Pablo's. Connor's touch was burning on his skin just like fire. His hands, his eyes, his breaths.. It did nothing but make Him lose his mind and making him realize that He needed, wanted, craved, _more_.

His hand moved on its own accord as it slowly unbuttoned Connor's shirt until the naked chest underneath it was finally revealed. Jude stared at it in awe and fighting the urge to drool --just because it would be extremely lame for him-- but he couldn't refrain the gasp escaping his lips as he watched Connor's well built chest lifting and falling with every breaths he gave.

"Holy shit." Connor let out a breathless laugh as he took care of Jude's shirt, discharging it on the floor next to his own and smiling widely throughout the whole time at Jude's ecstatic expression.

It was not like Jude had never seen a naked chest before, he did and he had 'seen' Connor's chest few times.. But being like two inches apart from it and being allowed to touch it,Was a total different story. Jude swallowed thickly as a soft blush creeped over his cheeks. He didn't know how he managed to do that but he finally dislodged his gaze from Connor's chest, looking up at the blond boy who was still grinning widely. Jude raised his finger, moving it towards the hard plain of his chest but then He stopped his finger mid-air ,his voice came through a low breath , "C-Can I touch it?"

Connor didn't reply verbally, he just took Jude's hand leading it on his chest. Jude whimpered as he watched his hand moving on the hard rock chest, his hooded eyes following the trail of his own hand. Connor couldn't stop looking at him, even if Jude wasn't looking back. The sight was too beautiful for words. 

"I love you."

Jude smiled, raising his eyes and meeting Connor's. "I love you too."  

"I can't believe this is happening, " Connor whimpered, lacing his hand through Jude's hair and pulling him against his chest. The contact of their bared skin made them both moan in pleasure. "I can't believe you're mine."  

Jude, being literally out of breath, could only nod against his sweaty neck. He closed his eyes, verwelmed by a sudden need kicking in from the inside of his chest.

As Connor  manoeuvred them **,** towards the bed, Jude tried his best to fight the craving urge creeping over him, but as soon as Connor gently laid him on the bed and got rid of all of their clothes, Jude couldn't resist any longer. He grabbed Connor by his arm, pushing him on his back before straddling his chest. 

"Fuck, Jude..." 

"I think.. I should give my contribution." Jude smirked as he run his hand over Connor's stomach, feeling pride swelling inside of his chest when he felt Connor shivering.

"Do you mean as..?" Connor asked breathlessly as Jude started Laying open mouthed kisses along Connor's collarbone, losing himself into Connor's soft moans of pleasure escaping his lips. 

Jude soon found himself kissing the inside of Connor's thigh. Just thinking of how close he was to Connor's.. Well.. it was enough to send him over the edge. Jude couldn't even think about the possibility of wrapping his mouth around it without passing out. 

"Jude, please.." Connor was desperately calling his name as he flicked his hips up against Jude's building up the insane friction between their aching bodies. His eyes were closed in ecstasy as he tangled his hand through Jude's hair, trying to lead him towards his erection. "Please.." 

Jude closed his mouth around the tip thinking of all the times he'd seen Connor in his brief during the previous days and immediately looked away, scared of the thoughts that would play  into his mind.. But in that moment Jude had nothing to feel guilty about. He was exactly where he was supposed to be and well, he was finally allowed to enjoy the goods that made Connor Stevens the hottest guy he'd even laid his eyes on. 

"Oh fuck, Jude yes... So good." Connor panted breathlessly as Jude took him fully into his mouth. He was even shocked about his eagerness considering how unexperienced he was.. It was the first time Jude had taken a dick into his mouth and considering the way Connor was moaning and writhing underneath him.. He felt pretty proud of himself.. that until he felt Connor going rigid, grabbing him by his shoulder.

"J-Jude, stop." Jude immediately looked up, staring  
apprehensively at the blond boy.. Maybe he'd done something wrong? Or wasn't that good as he thought he was? Maybe..? 

"Come here." As soon as Jude's body moved upwards, Connor pressed his lips agains Jude's. His tongue sliding inside.. _so hot._

"You were going to make me come..." he breathed against Jude's swollen lips, giving a soft smile as he noticed that Jude began to smirk.

"Thank you."

Connor gave a soft laugh as he run his hand through Jude's hair. Then he winced when Connor's smile turned into a worried frown..  

"What's going on?" 

"I.." There was a deep blush creeping over his cheeks as Connor spoke.. His voice was calm but Jude could detect   a hint of hesitation in it. "Well.. We're naked."

"Yes. I'm aware of that."

Connor frowned. "And, Um.. You're on top of me.. I think we should talk."

"Talk? " Jude repeated with eyebrows raised in confusion. That was definitely not a good moment to... _Talk._ But he had to ask anyway. He run his fingers over Connor's nipple as he asked. "What do you want to talk about? "

Connor sighed as he spilled his thoughts out of his mouth. "I.. Wanna make love to you."

Jude's breath caught in his throat as soon as the words were out. The corner of his mouth tugged up, until it formed a perfect smile. That was going to be his first time and Jude would freak out in that moment, but he felt nothing but happy and safe. He trusted Connor with his whole heart and even though He wasn't going to be Connor's first time, he was happy that Connor was going to be his. His smiled widened as he kissed him on the lips. 

"Let's do it, then."

Connor's frown got deeper as he countered.

"Shouldn't we talk about it ? I mean.. I know that the both of us have done this before but--"

Jude's smile fell off his face as soon as Connor said that. Did he think that..? He and Pablo? Connor noticed how Jude's expression turned from bright and happy to sad and agonized.

"I.. Didn't."

Connor's eyes widened but before he could say something, Jude's voice cut him off, revealing the truth almost as if he was ashamed of it. Connor looked like the ship had sunk beneath their feet...

"I.. I'm a virgin."

Connor's eyes got even bigger. Confusion written all over his face as he looked at Jude completely agape.

"B-But you and Pablo--"

" We didn't." 

"So.. Was it a lie?" 

Jude's eyes grew huge as he shook his head. "No! It wasn't a lie.. We made out... We were about to.. But Then I--"

"Yeah. I.. I know _that part."_

The air suddenly felt heavy between them. Jude shifted as he straddled Connor's chest, he was about to roll off on his side of the bed when he felt Connor's arm keeping him there.

"Don't.." Connor said as he swallowed nervously. "I still want to.. Do you.. Still want to do this?"

Jude nodded his head vehemently. "Of course I want to.."

"It wasn't my intention to make you feel unwanted or uncomfortable about being a virgin.. I.. Like it."

Jude's eyebrow furrowed as he felt his body relaxing a bit. "You do?"

Connor nodded as a reassuring smile creeped over his features. 

"I do.. I just.. Feel very pressured right now." He gave a awkward laugh as he avoided eye contact with Jude. Jude noticed and cupped his face, forcing him to look up.

"Don't.. I know you'll take care of me."

Connor's frown was back on his face as he sighed defeatingly. 

"But Joseph always said--" 

Whatever Connor was going to say, it was cut by Jude's lips pressing against his own. 

"Shut up. Joseph is a douchebag.. And It's _you_ and _I_ right now.."

"I just feel pressured because you deserve the best first time ever, Jude..."

"It will." Jude smiled as he pressed his lips against Connor's sweaty forehead. 

"Because it's with you."

Connor smiled brightly at Jude's words before pulling the boy in a breath taking kiss. Their kiss was messy and steamy and made them both let out a gasp of pleasure when they pulled away to catch their breaths. 

Soon they were  making out fervently, falling into a steamy rhythm; Jude's hips pushing down and met by Connor's hips, rolling off the bed. Their erections hard and leaking against each other.

"Jude.. Jude." Connor pulled away, glancing down at his hard on as he breathed heavily against Jude's lips.

"Can I?"

Jude closed his eyes, inhaling a deep intake of breath as he bit his lips. "Yes."

 _"That's it."_ Jude thought as he watched Connor getting off the bed and fumbling inside of his suitcase. _"It's going to happen."_

He had to admit that there was some nervousness laying beneath all that excitement.

Connor crawled between his spread legs and the last thing Jude saw was His finger dripping with lube disappearing into his hole before...

"Holy shit!"

Connor freezed on his motions, throwing a worried glance into Jude's direction. He was breathing sharply through his nose, his teeth gritted and eyes tight shut.

He felt Connor's finger twitching inside of him, unsure about what to do.. Connor slowly started to pull it off. Jude's eyes suddenly snapped open as he reached for Connor's arm.

"D-Don't pull out."

"But Jude.."

"Move." Jude groaned, throwing his head back on the pillow as he tried to relax a bit. He started inhaling and exhaling very slowly as Connor was tentatively moving his finger. After the first moment of pain, Jude started to adjust to the intrusion and Soon he released a loud gasp, his body started trembling as Connor touched a bundle of nerves inside of him.

His moans were incredibly low and soon Connor grew frustrated because of what Pablo told him about Jude. It made him feel a rush of pride and arousal spreading through his body When he first heard it and As he moved two fingers inside of him, he felt the unbearable urge to make Jude scream his name.

"Oh My God." Jude panted breathlessly as Connor took him into his mouth, his fingers moving faster inside of him. Connor moaned as the flavour of Jude settled on his tongue, his dick leaking hard as he hear Jude's moans of pleasure escaping his lips. _Not enough,_ Connor thought, he needed _more_.

Jude's hand tangled into his hair as Connor bobbed his head up and down, taking him deeper into his mouth.

"Jesus, Connor..." Jude moaned, opening his eyes and almost shooting when he was met by Connor's hooded eyes staring at him. The sight was too hot to bear. How did he get so lucky? 

He threw his head back on the pillow as Connor suddenly stopped his ministration, pulling out with a wet pop of his mouth as he reached for the condom. 

" _Okay.. Keep calm._ " Jude thought as he inhaled sharply through his nose. His eyes were closed but he could feel Connor lifting up his legs and.. Oh God, pushing the tip of his dick inside of him. " _It's okay. It's Connor.. Your bestfriend, your hoyfriend, who's gonna take care of you and not H-..."_

"Holy fucking shit."

Connor flinched as he tried to push in as carefully as possible. The only audible sound echoing through the room was Connor's soft pants and Jude's pretty loud curses. Connor got it.. He was aware of the sharp pain of the moment, he knew that part pretty well. He leant in, pressing gentle kisses on Jude's lips as he moved further inside, murmuring sweet words throughout the whole time.

"It's just in the beginning.. It will get better."

He murmured gently and Jude nodded, trusting him on his words since he was more experienced that him on having sex but what Jude didn't know was that Connor's first time had been truly awful.

It had nothing in common with this moment; Joseph didn't whisper soft words into his ear.. He didn't slow down on his pace when he heard Connor's moans of pain, he didn't know about Connor feeling like a slut afterwards, So Connor was feeling the pressure of making that experience the most special, unforgettable moment ever.. For the both of them. It was a fresh start, this was the special 'first' time Connor had never gotten. 

As He felt Jude's body starting to relax, Connor increased on the pace of his thrusts eliciting soft moans out of Jude's lips.

"Good?"

"Yes. Oh, Yes." Jude cried out as Connor hit the same spot he previously reached with his fingers. Connor closed his eyes, losing himself into Jude's warmth and sounds slipping out of his lips.. He soon felt himself getting close to release. 

"I want to hear you.. Jude." He moaned as he incresed the pace on his thrusts. Jude opened his eyes, looking at him with eyes hooded with want as he met Connor's thrusts with his hips.

"Oh fuck, Connor fuck me."

Connor couldn't hold back the laugh escaping his lips, muffled against Jude's neck. Jude's arms laced around his neck, clinging tightly onto Connor's body as he felt his whole body being crossed by waves of burning fire. 

It only took two more thrusts to bring Jude and Connor over the edge; Together.

"Oh.. My... Connor." Jude cried out as he reached the pitch of his orgasm. He felt like he couldn't breathe with Connor's body falling on him, consumed of energy as he tried to come down from his own high. 

"Con.." Connor lifted up his gaze, meeting Jude's half lidded eyes. "Umm.. I love you, but.. you're crushing me."

"Sorry." Connor smiled as he rolled over next to Jude, holding him into his arms. His lips pressed against his hair as the only sounds filling the room was their soft breathing.

"You know.. I can't believe that we just had sex. I'm still somehow convinced that none of this is real." Connor smiled into Jude's hair as he brushed His finger over Jude's skin, making him shiver.

"My ass would beg to differ." Jude retorted as a soft laugh escaped his lips.

"Was it.." Connor cleared his throat as his face started flushing. "How was it..?"

Jude rolled his eyes. "Connor..."

"It was your first time.." Connor pouted. "I need to make sure that it has been special for you."

"It has been perfect." Jude replied dreamily as he closed his eyes. "You are perfect." 

Connor smiled, closing his eyes as well. They fell asleep few minutes later, both feeling drained out both physically and emotionally by what they had just shared.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see u on next chapter, the last one of this series :) thanks for reading!


	12. As the sun goes down.

As soon as his eyes fluttered open, The first thing Connor saw the morning after was Jude's sleepy eyes, soft and relaxed as they stared into his own.

“Good morning..” Connor kissed him on his forehead as Jude snuggled closer to his chest, letting out a soft yawn.

“Hey, you.”

“How are you feeling this morning?”  
Jude couldn't help but laugh lightly at the concerned tone filling Connor's voice. He shook his head, lacing his fingers into Connor's hair.

"I feel sore.. But I was kind of prepared for this kind of ache.."

"Well, I hope you'll be able to walk..." Connor smirked into his hair. Jude lifted up his eyes, letting out an amused giggle out of his lips. He wanted to make a quip about Connor's ego but he knew that Connor was telling the truth.. Everything about the previous night had been perfect; Connor had moved inside of him, Gently at first but then gradually thrusting harder and faster inside of him. He'd been caring and considerate of Jude's feelings and needs making him feel loved and safe under every aspect. He still didn't know how he got so lucky.. Connor was hands down the best guy he'd ever met and he was finally his.

A sharp pain suddenly spread through his chest, thinking about what Connor had to go through.. he'd been lucky for experiencing the first time with the person he knew he was meant to be with.. but from what he knew, Connor hadn't been so lucky, and suddenly there was a flair of anger rising up from the pit of his stomach. He felt His fists clenching until his knuckles went white.

"Jude, what's wrong?" Of course Connor noticed. Jude was basically shaking into his arms. Jude looked up, his voice trembling as he spoke.. he hadn't even realized that he'd started crying until he felt his cheeks being wetted by the falling tears.

"I-I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to cry.. because I'm happy. I've never been happier, I promise."

"Then what is it?" Connor's voice was filled with concern as he held his hands.

"I just.. Can't stand what he did to you. How can someone do that to someone like you? " Jude's voice was broken with tears as he spoke. "You're perfect. You-- God, it pisses me off so bad. I just want to kick him in the face for how he made you suffer." 

"It's okay, Jude.. It's in the past."

"It's not, Connor. He made you feel weak and unworthy just because you wanted to wait until you were ready for sex and then... Afterwards he--"

"I.. Don't want to talk anymore about it, Jude.. He's an ass, you said so.. It's in the past, I don't even know why are we talking about this." Connor's voice grew frustrated as he spoke.. He didn't need to go back on a memory lane. He just needed to let that past go and focus on his future, with Jude.

"Because I love you," Jude replied with broken voice as he cupped Connor's face into his hands.

"And it broke me deeply."

"Jude..."

"...The awful bullshits he'd spread around campus and the way he treated you, despising you Like you were infected with plague.." Jude kept ranting with anger filling his voice until he closed his eyes, exhaling a deep breath.

"-- I have some confession to make." Jude breathed out, feeling Connor suddenly going tense underneath him.

"I'm listening.."

"The night you guys broke up and you showed up at my dorm in tears.. I.. " Jude lowered down his gaze, unable to look into Connor's eyes as he continued. "After you fell asleep, I headed to his dorm."

"Why would you do that?!" Connor gasped in shock as he pulled him closer, his eyes searching for Jude's.

"I wanted to punch him in the face. I would have punched him in the face.. And worse. I was.. Raging for what he did to you."

"Jude!" 

"I thought my hatred was due to Joseph breaking up with my best friend after treated him like shit, but now I realized that it was hate."

Connor cupped his face, wiping away some tears underneath Jude's eyes.

"I hated him for stealing you away from me, even though you weren't mine to keep, back then. I hated him for pressuring you into having sex even though you weren't ready for it. I hated him for breaking your heart and your self confidence.. I would have punched him." 

Jude exhaled as he caught his breath.

"But the ass wasn't there."

"C-Can I make a confession, too?"

Jude nodded as he run his hand over Connor's cheek, gently caressing his skin.

"I.. Won't get into much details But Even though last night wasn't my first time I want to pretend like it was. My first time with Joseph wasn't that much of a fairytale.."

Before Jude could reply, Connor pressed a finger on his lips, gesturing him to let him finish. "I was so Blinded by his charm and his ways of making me feel special that I fell into the rabbit hole. Literally."

He gave a hollow laugh, as he raised his eyes towards Jude's.

"I thought I was ready but deep down I knew I wasn't.. We had sex and--"

"Connor..." 

"He wasn't like gentle or anything.. My mind was mostly clouded by pain at the moment but he did nothing to make me feel any better.. I never had sex before so I thought 'maybe it's just how is supposed to be..' But when I started to complain and refusing to have sex.."

"It started." Jude finished his sentence. "The gossiping and all.."

"Yeah.." Connor sighed loudly as he run his hands over Jude's back.

"I'm sorry you had to put up with all of that. I can't help but think that if I hadn't been a coward and told you..."

"Jude." Connor said with calm voice. "It happened. We can't erase it. I'm.. Just glad we finally found each other."

Jude smiled softly as he leant down.

"And we'll never let each other go, right?"

"Nope." Connor smirked as he rolled them over, pinning Jude's body against the mattress. 

###

The following days they felt like being wrapped into a bubble of bliss. The time had gone by very quickly and soon they found each other packing their suitcases.

"I can't believe we're going home, tomorrow." Jude whined as he sat down on the bed. 

"I know.." Connor let out a sad sigh as he zipped up his luggage. "But we still have tonight, left.." He said as he crawled on the floor across from Jude.

"What are you up to, Connor Stevens?"

Jude asked with teasing voice as he looked down at the boy. He smiled brightly as he run his hand through the blond strands of hair. Jude couldn't have enough of the softness of Connor's hair. It felt incredible between his fingers.

Connor took his hand into his own, smiling widely.

"Well.. It's our last night here so I was thinking..."

"Mmh?"

"Would you like to go on a fancy date with me?"

Jude bursted out in laughter as he nodded his head vehemently.

"Of course I'll go on a fancy date with you."

Connor grinned with safistaction as he rose up on his feet. 

"Let's go then.. We have a reservation. "

Jude's eyebrows furrowed as he gave a mischievous smirk.

"What if I said no?"

Connor shook his head, meeting Jude's smirk with his own. He wrapped his arms around his waist leaning in until his lips were brushing against Jude's ear.

"I would have convinced you through unconventional ways.."

Jude let out a sharp intake of breath, feeling shivers crawling up his spine as Connor's breaths started tickling his skin. Connor smiked against his neck, feeling Jude's body convulsing as he began giggling inside of his arms.

"Come on.. We don't want to be late." Jude exhaled as he pulled away from their embrace. He took a step back, staring at the boy before him, a dreamy sigh escaped his lips. 

"Do you think things will be different when we'll get back?"

"We won't make that happen." Connor countered with a reassuring smile spreading on his lips. He watched as Jude nodded, taking his hand into his own.

"Shall we?"

"Let's go." Jude smiled.

### 

Connor had a nervous expression flashing across his features throughout the whole route from their room to the last floor of the ship. Of course the fanciest restaurant had to be the one with the best view.. 

"Connor, Oh my God... " and the expression on bewilderment and awe on Jude's face was worth the price of their dinner..

Jude was freezed on his spot as they stood across their table.

His eyes wouldn't dislodge from the sight out there.. The waves of the ocean lit up by the full moonlight, were crashing beneath them. The lights of the city so far away from them.. Jude had never seen a more beautiful sight and he wasn't necessarily talking about the landscape.

"Oh." Connor gasped in surprise as soon as Jude threw himself into his arms.

"Connor.. Oh God, this is.." Jude was struggling while he tried to find the right words to describe his feelings for the boy who was holding him, but that words couldn't express how he felt about him.

"You like it?" Jude nodded as the corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile full of love for his boyfriend.

Jude's voice was filled with emotion as he sat down, "Are you kidding? I love you, And I love the view.. But mostly you."

His eyes were drawn towards the glass next to them, Losing himself into the mesmerizing sight of the ocean. He turned his attention to Connor who was sitting down and he reached for his hand, cupping it into his own. He watched Connor smiling at the affectionate gesture.

"This feels like a deja vu." 

"Huh?"

 "Few days ago we were sitting downstairs talking about sparks.. And as soon as you took my hand, I knew.." Connor let out a happy sigh as he tightened his grip on Jude's hand.

"I knew it was _you_ , Jude."

Jude blushed as he cupped Connor's hand with both of his hands just like he did few days earlier, in the same loving way .

Jude filled two glasses of wine. He hand it one to Connor who murmured a soft 'thank you.' Before raising his glass.

"A toast." Jude laughed, raising his glass as well.  "To sparks and second chances."

Connor smiled. "To us."

"To us." Jude echoed as their glasses clinked together.

####

They stayed up till very late that night, drinking wine and slow dancing until it was time to head back to their room. They were both tipsy by the time they laid on their bed, giggling and cuddling each other while they were still completely dressed.

"Connor... Umm.. Undress me."

Connor laughed tiredly as he hid his face against Jude's chest. 

"Mmh.. No. You undress me."

"What if we undress each other?" Jude suggested with a smirk on his face. Connor sat up on the mattress, getting rid of his shirt as Jude was discharging his own.

"Come on, pants off."

Connor threw his head back, letting out a loud laugh as Jude tried to take off his pants.

"I can't take care of your pants if you keep moving!"

"Sorry." Connor bit his lips, trying to refrain the wave of laughter escaping his lips.. He felt a bit drunk.

Jude, fully naked, took care of the last piece of clothing on Connor's body and he smiled at the sight of Connor's completely naked body.

"You're naked!" Connor gave a quick glance downwards before grinning widely.

"I am naked! And you're naked too!"

"Yup." Jude replied as he laid next to Connor, rolling on his side so that they were laying face to face. 

"What?" 

Jude was looking into his eyes with a relaxed expression across his face, his eyes glossy and full of light as his voice came through a feeble whisper.

"I don't want this moment to ever end.."

"Me too." Connor replied with low voice as his eyelids suddenly fluttered close. He felt Jude's naked body snuggling close to his chest and he found the strenght to wrap his arms around him, before drifting off to sleep.

####

 

The morning after they sadly woke up pretty early. It was 9 am and they were about to come home.. They finished packing their things before sharing a knowing look.

"I'm gonna miss this.." Jude sighed as Connor's arm wrapped around his shoulders. He leant into his arms as he stole one last glance at the surroundings.

 "I know.. I'm gonna miss it too."

Jude couldn't help but smile. "Lots of things happened in this room."

"I'll never forget what we found in this room." 

 "Luckily, I'm bringing it home with me."

Jude turned around, facing Connor and pressing their lips together.

"It's time.." Jude breathed against his lips. Connor nodded, taking their suitcases and closing the door of the room.

###

Jude and Connor held hands As they said their goodbyes to the ship of their dreams and they finally felt solid ground beneah their feet, That didn't go unnoticed by Stef and Lena, ready to drive the two boys home.

"Moms!" 

"Hi sweetie!" They both greeted him, smirking when they saw Jude dragging Connor by holding his hand.

"It seems like you guys had a good time on the ship!"

Jude blushed as Connor wrapped his arm around his shouders. They both sighed dreamily as they sat on the backseats of Lena's car, giving one last glance at the glorious ship that made them find out that their soulmate was before their eyes all along.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go.. last chapter of this series.  
> It had been so much fun to write. I'm gonna miss this series! thank you for reading it and leaving comments :)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @Skyblue993.


End file.
